I was just thinking about that. It will be a few days since my little sister is in town with me right now. But after she leaves I will get right on it.
I have one for Wes. I haven’t done one for Keats but I can if you would like :)
Drew and Menka have been gone for so long, we got here about 10 minutes ago. Where did he take her? I’m actually really surprised at how everything has happened tonight. I mean we are having dinner with Emblem3! Could anything top this day at all? We all walked into the restaurant and we got a table near the far end where it was quieter so we were able to get to know each other better.
I couldn’t believe that I was sitting with the Wesley Stromberg and he had his arms wrapped around my shoulders. I think I’m gonna die. Kay and Keats were also sitting pretty close so maybe we’ve landed ourselves some boyfriends…
"Do you guys know where Drew’s taken Menka?" Kay asked, looking at the menu. As we got here earlier, we already ordered drinks. We even ordered Drew’s and Menka’s but they weren’t appearing anytime soon.
"Drew took her for a walk somewhere, but he said he’d come back before we ordered any food." Wes said as he ate a breadstick. After chatting and laughing like mad, Drew and Menka appeared in the doorway, hand in hand, and Kay waved at them letting them know where they had to sit. They both looked completely smitten in love, I was happy for her, but I didn’t want her to rush through anything. I’m hoping she doesn’t tell me she’s kissed him already.
"Hey guys, sorry we’re late," she said letting go of Drew’s hand and sitting down next to me and Drew sat down, pretty close, next to her.
"Where did you go?" I whispered
"Oh, Drew took me down another route and it was lovely. They had brightly lit lights hanging above us and then we got to this bridge that was over the river and it was covered with flowers and lanterns and it was beautiful,"
"So you didn’t kiss him or anything right. You know how you don’t want to rush into anything,"
"I know but I did kiss him. Well, actually we kinda made out on the bridge, but no I did say that I wanted to take things slow. I’m not gonna jump in bed with him or anything, don’t worry. We aren’t even dating so it’s all slow."
She smiled and started talking to Kay. I wasn’t sure about this. I love Drew I do, like a brother, but I don’t want her to jump into anything. She and him amde out! They only met each other like 3 hours ago; I just don’t want her to regret anything. Plus, if her stepdad finds out about Drew, she’s gonna be in so much trouble.
"Oh you guys ordered drinks for us, thank you," I said while hugging Josie. I cannot believe what is happening, I feel like I’m in a dream and I can’t wake up. I’ve pinched myself so many times and I still haven’t come to realise that this is actually happening!! We are having dinner with Emblem3.
"So, we know a bit about you guys, which is cool, we like to get to know Emblems," Keats said kissing Kay’s cheek.
"Do you guys wanna order food now?" Wes said, closing the menu. I think we are all hungry. It’s been a long and extremely weird but lucky day.
"Yeah let’s order, what are you guys having?" Drew said then he smiled at me.
"Well, I’m gonna have the chicken with vegetables, on the side. Need to get protein!" Wes said
"I’m having the Turkey Panini’s and maybe sweet corn, I’m not sure" Keats said draping his arm around Kay’s shoulders.
"Hmm, I think I’ll have the pizza, actually why don’t we share that?" Kay said to Keats. He nodded and they talked about what toppings they wanted.
"Babe, what are you having?" Drew said putting an arm around my waist pulling me into him. As much as I wanted to be close to him, I moved his hand so I could sit on my seat properly. He kissed my cheek as he waited for an answer.
To be honest, I was really scared to eat in front of Drew. I’m not bulimic, or anorexic, far from it actually, but I didn’t want Drew to think that I eat like a pig, cos I do when I’m hungry. I’m already insecure about my weight, and being with someone like Drew whose body is just wow and in perfect shape, makes me feel more insecure about my own weight. I had to make a decision everyone was waiting for an answer, so just went with something simple and light. I looked up and I could see on Kay and Josie’s face that they knew something was wrong.
"I’ll have the salad," I said smiling over to Drew. I was much hungrier but I didn’t want to eat high calorie food in front of him. He looked at me for a while as Wes called for a waiter. Drew leaned in and whispered something in my ear.
"On the way here you told me that you were really hungry,"
"I know, but I guess I’m not that hungry anymore. It’s fine, a salad will fill me up," I said as I tried to reassure Drew. He looked at me concerned; his blue eyes were burning into mine as if he already knew why I wanted a salad.
"You can’t fill yourself up on a salad, Menka. You need protein in you too. I don’t want you to eat salad, pick something else," he said and his voice was filled with worry. I looked over at him; his eyes were glued to mine.
"I’m fine Drew, I can fill myself up on a salad, it’s not a big deal. I’m not that hungry," I said and I kissed his cheek .He sighed and the waiter came over to take our order.
"Hi, I’m Ryan and I’ll be your waiter today, may I take your order?" he said beaming at us all. He was really good looking. He had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, almost as blue as Drew’s. I think it was safe to say that Kay, Josie and I fancied him a little bit.
"Yes, can we have one Hawaiian pizza, two of the chicken meal with veggies on the side, a salad, and Drew what are you having?" Wes said turning around to look at Drew. His eyes were still glued on me and I wanted him to stop, it was making me uncomfortable.
"Huh? Oh I’ll have the chicken fettuccine alfredo," he said and pretty much threw back his glass of wine. I think he’s annoyed with me.
"Is that going to be all for you?" Ryan said smiling at us girls.
"Yeah that’s all buddy," Wes said and Ryan walked away. As soon as he was out of the way, us girls squealed. Wes and Keats put a hand over their ears.
"What the fuck? Why are you screaming so loud?" Keats said whining like a child, wow; no matter how old he is he will still be baby Keats.
"The waiter was so good looking! Did you see his eyes, they were such a nice colour oh my god," I said squealing and everyone laughed.
"Maybe you should give him your number and you two can start a relationship haha" Kay said and we both laughed.
"So are you girls basically saying that they waiter is better looking than us?" Drew said, looking at us girls.
"No but he’s good looking for someone whose not famous or in a band," Josie said.
"I don’t believe you girls. If you think that we’re better looking you have a say so,” Drew said looking at me.
"Menka, repeat after me. I think that Drew Michael Chadwick-"
She laughed but eventually she repeated it.
"I think that Drew Michael Chadwick…"
"Is the most sexiest man guru alive-" She burst out into more laughter.
"Is the sexiest man guru alive…"
"And I Menka, am so completely in love with him-" Her laughter died down and I could see that she didn’t want to say it.
""And I Menka, am so completely in love with him," Everyone else sniggered and she looked over at them.
"And he is much better looking than Ryan the waiter, Wesley and Keaton."
"And he is much better looking than Ryan the waiter, Wesley and Keaton." She said, and everyone laughed apart from Wes and Keats.
"Excuse me; I’d like to think I’m good looking too thank you. I work just as hard as you do," Wes said playfully getting angry at Drew. Wes and Drew high fived over the table and we all started on a new topic conversation.
I looked over at Drew while he was laughing. He is so wonderful, like how did I end up here. I shouldn’t be here. He should be taking someone else to dinner with Wes and Keats not me. He is someone who can get the prettiest girls, so why on earth would he choose me…Oh no here I go contemplating things. Now I’m starting to feel insecure. I hate this feeling but if Drew and I end up going somewhere like dating, which we probably won’t, I don’t want him to know how much my insecurity affects me. I slowly started to stop involving myself in the conversation and I started to think about how many things I’m insecure about, I actually felt like crying. But I don’t want to cause a scene so I tried my best to hold it in.
We were all talking about the time when I fucked up my shoulder, and tore my rotator cuff, when I noticed that Menka had stopped talking. She sat there, looking down, like she was thinking about something serious. I put my hand on her thigh, but I don’t think she realised. She was too lost in her own thoughts, thoughts I was dying to know about. I grabbed her hand and laced it in mine but she still hadn’t noticed. I was starting to worry but I didn’t want to ask her because I didn’t want her to feel like she’s the centre of attention. She told me she doesn’t like all of that, so I wasn’t going to push her.
Finally the food arrived and we were all digging in. Menka looked much happier now and had involved herself more in conversations, which made me happy. I’m actually falling for her badly and I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing. We haven’t even been on a date, but I’m dying to take her, but I promised her we’d take things slow. You should’ve thought about that before you made out with her on the bridge, I thought.
The night was coming to an end which made me nervous because I really did want to see Menx again, before she leaves to go back to London. We waited for the check and we were going to split it all evenly when Keats came up with a good idea.
"I think that the three of us should pay because you lovely emblems are our dates and it wouldn’t be fair if you paid too,"
"That’s a good idea, I like that. I’ll pay for mine and Josie’s, Keats’ pay for yours and Kay’s and Drew will pay for his and Menka’s. Deal guys?" Keats and I nodded, when the girls rejected.
"No honestly, it’s fine, we can pay for our own," Kay said and Menx and Josie nodded.
"Yeah let us pay too; it’s not fair on you guys. Plus, I don’t mind paying" Menx said sitting back in the chair. I still wasn’t happy that she only ate a salad but I’ll tell her how unhappy about that I was on another day. If there’ll be another day, I thought
"Hey, listen to me babe, I am paying for yours, so be quiet. It’s not like we can’t afford it. And it would be an honour. Anyway, the rule is that the guys pay most of the time, so let’s split the money." I said and looked at her. She looked back at me and I pulled her in a for a kiss. It was short and sweet, I would’ve got carried away but she let go of me and helped work out the price.
Once we figured out the price, we paid and we sat there for a bit just talking.
"So how are you guys gonna get home?" Keats asked the girls. I was curious about that too. I wanted to drive Menx home so I could spend more time with her.
"Well, I’m getting picked up by my sister, and Josie is driving home," Kay said, looking at me.
"And Menka is he still picking you up?" Josie said. I bolted up at the sound of "he". I didn’t like where this was going. Don’t tell me she’s already with someone and that she’s using me. I’ve been through that before.
"Yeah, Tristen said he’d pick me up so I’ll call him and tell him we’re done. Hopefully he’s not sleeping or some shit like that" She said and laughed.
Who the fuck is Tristen and why he is picking her up? I started to think she’s using me, I can’t trust people anymore. I’m super pissed, I keep hoping that he isn’t her boyfriend or someone she’s seeing, but I can’t get any positive thoughts at all. Everything she said about wanting to be mine but taking it slow was a lie? I don’t know, I can’t even look at her anymore without thinking she’s just using me.
I know we aren’t together but I’ve really fell for her and I don’t want to be disappointed. I’ve been disappointed before and have had girls fling themselves at me for attention but I thought she wasn’t like that. I guess I was wrong.
"Drew could you pass me my handbag please," she said snapping me out of my thoughts. I gave her a disgusted look and threw her bag on the table. She gasped and I rolled my eyes.
"Next time, ask Tristen to give it to you," I snarled and everyone’s mouths were open. I got up and walked out of the restaurant, not wanting to look at her. I’m not gonna be someone she uses for fame or whatever; I’m done with whatever happened between us tonight.
So yeah, now Drew is all jealous awww… :) Stay tuned for Chapter 6 where we find out who Tristen really is, and what happens between Drew and Menka’s relationship and how she tells her parents about the night.
"So you guys seem to really be taking this small dream so many places. New York, Chicago, Houston, Brazil, I can’t believe I missed out on so much of it."
"I bought a postcard in every city to give to you. I just keep them in a box, I wasn’t sure if you would want them."
"Wesley the progress you’ve made in your life is amazing. I am so happy for you and I would love to have something that shows every step you’ve made."
"Then they go to you. I’ll get them to you as soon as we get back to LA together. It really is unbelievable that you are so close again." He says as he takes the last bite of his sandwich.
"I know being in LA close to you three again is going to be nice."
"This is nice. I’ve really missed this time together."
"Me too, I hate that we’ve missed so much together." So much hidden meaning behind that phrase and he’s totally clueless to it.
He goes to open his mouth probably to say sorry, but closes it again. We made an agreement that we would both stop saying sorry and move on from it all. He instead closes his mouth and grins. “We need to make up for lost time. Come to family dinner tonight.”
I smile trying to play it off. “I can’t, I have some work I need to be doing. I have to help with the page restart. Everyone is sending me in their reintroduction pieces and then I am responsible for edit and getting them ready for publication.”
"It’s so sexy when you talk author to me."
"Shut up. I also need to call Kory and see where he is at with the design and see if he has turned it in to the tech guys. So they can get it coded together so I can start getting things put on."
"I know Kory. I don’t know you were working with him on the restart. His designs are going to be sick."
"We just need a modern but professional look with some fun. I have what I would like in mind but I am artistically challenged. So I’m hoping he can do it himself. Speaking of work. I work with this chick named Casey and she is a huge fan of your music. She caught me singing 3000 Miles while I was working through some letters for publication."
"So you run your own column that is really cool." He says ignoring the mention of Casey and his song.
"Yeah Jennifer thought the responsibility should lie on the person who started it."
"Is that why you hardly have anything published anymore? Too busy with the new responsibility?"
"I get published about twice a month everyone gets about that."
"I haven’t seen anything for a few months."
"Stalking me much." I say with a laugh. "Anonymous byline. Keeps those I’m writing about safe so it doesn’t end up blowing up in my face again." He goes to say something but I cut him off. "It’s fine. Taught me a lesson we are past it now and I’m over that insecurity. Starting fresh remember."
He laces his fingers through mine, “yeah our own restart.”
"Just friends though Wesley. Just friends." I say pulling my hand from his. "I need to be going. I need to be getting back to work."
"So about dinner tonight. I know Keaton would love to see you and Brooke is here. At least think about it."
"Wes it’s not going to happen. I am home to visit my dad."
"Ok. At least I tried. The opportunity is open until you go back to Cali. We better go." He stands up clearing the table. We both say bye to Liz and start out to the car.
As I turn slightly after stepping out the door I collide with someone. “Oh shit I’m sorry.” I say apologetically.
"You’re good. I should have waited."
I smile at the familiar voice. “Brooke I’ve missed you.” I say wrapping my arms around her.
"I’ve missed you too. How are you doing?" She asks returning the embrace.
"I’m good. Just working my ass off. How is little Isaac doing?"
"He’s walking and starting to say a few words. We got mama the other day."
"That is so cute. Babies learning and growing is adorable." My phone buzzes in my pocket probably from Tristan. "I really need to be heading back, but I would love to see you before I leave out."
"Um do you mid if I steal you away for a second?"
"It has to be a quick second I really need to be heading back. I need to take care of my dad and do some other work."
"Just one second. I promise."
"Ok fine. I’ll be right back Wes."
I step away with Brooke concerned with what she needs. “My mom told me this morning. Wes is still clueless but she just needed to talk to someone about it. I hope you aren’t mad at her for it. But now I really want to meet my niece and nephew.”
"Damn at this rate half the town wil know before Wes."
"Stop stalling and just do it."
"I can’t. Do you know how he will react? No neither do I. I need to know he still cares about me. I need to know he won’t run away from them. He has a huge career and children will tie him back from that. I’ve refuses to hold him back from the beginning and I won’t start now. I have to know he will be able to do both."
"I guess that makes sense, just don’t wait too long you’ll end up hurting him more."
"I know. And it eats me alive everyday that I don’t tell him. But just so long you don’t tell anyone then I have no problem with you coming by. They would love to meet their aunt."
"Thank you I will get a hold of you when I’m on my way out."
"Ok that works. I’ll see you then."
"One more thing, how are things between you two?" She says flashing her eyes over to Wesley.
"It’s good. We are working on just friends. So that is progress."
"Just remember you can’t be just friends with someone you used to love and have children with."
"I know. And I didn’t used to love him I always have and always will." I give a little wave walking back to Wesley’s car. "Thank you for waiting."
"No problem. What were you two talking about?"
"She wanted to know how we were doing."
"What did you tell her?"
"You’ll see." I say with a smile and climb through the already open door. He climbs in next to me and starts up the car as a familiar melody flows through he speakers. "You totally planned that."
"No I didn’t." He says with a smile.
"You totally did. You did."
"No I didn’t. I haven’t had time to plan something like this. Today has all happened on a whim. This is all just chance. It’s a sign for us. Just enjoy it."
I keep quiet trying not to actually let the song raise any emotions. But then he starts singing it like he had sung it everyday. “So darling I can’t wait for you to wake up. I wanna be there when you open your eyes. Darling Don’t look back no need to worry. I’ll be here waiting on the other side.” His voice seeps through all the cracks I tried so hard to seal. “I haven’t heard that son since the last time I listened to it with you in similar circumstances.”
"Hardly, the only thing similar is we are in your car."
"Ok you’re right but the feeling in the car was the same. You still got lost in me singing like every other time."
"Only because your voice is amazing."
"Thanks, don’t have much for brains so I have to be good with something."
"You’re good at more than singing and you will be good at many more things to come."
"What else am I good at? I was kin of shitty at being a boyfriend."
"You were an amazing boyfriend, distance just wasn’t for us. But you are an incredible son and brother and friend. You’re an absolute phenomenal uncle. And all of that will make you an amazing father in the future." My stomach ties hearing the words fall out of my mouth. I nearly tell him but my phone starts ringing. I pull it out and see Tristan and Weston across the screen. "Hey Tristan what is going on?"
"Hey I don’t mean to rush your time away. I mean you need it but is there anyway you can hurry back? Something is going on with Weston."
"Oh my god. Yeah we are on our way and should be there soon. What’s going on? What’s he doing that is showing he isn’t ok?" I ask trying not to panic.
"It’s like he can’t catch his breath. He cries occasionally bringing color back but when it’s fading again."
"Ok we are right around the corner. Wes I need to get home can you step on it a little?"
"Sure is everything ok?" He asks as I hear the engine accelerate.
"Yeah just my dad. He is puking and won’t let Tristan in to help him. It’s just a side affect of the chemo."
"Anything I can do to help when we get there?"
"No I’ve handled it before. Just get me there now please. Tristan I am almost there tell him I will be there in just a second." I hang up almost as a way of telling her to take care of him and not talk to me. "Thank you for today. It was nice being with you again. I really have missed you. I’ve missed our time together too. We need to find a way to do it more."
"Well you tell me busy worker lady. When does it work for you again?"
"I will let you know here soon. I do have to go." I say as he pulls up in front of the house. I lean over kissing his cheek and then nearly run for the house. "Tristan what is going on? Where is he?" I stay charging up the stairs. I get into my room and find my dad with Willow and Tristan talking to Weston. She passes him off as I hold my arms out for him. The pink in his cheeks is slowly fading out but then he lets out a three of four second cry bringing it back. "Bring me his car seat I am taking him to the hospital. Tristan stay here with Willow and I will get a hold of Keaton or someone and see if they can come sit with me at the hospital. Then we will go from there." Tristan hands me the car seat as I slide Wes in it carefully. "I am going to break a law and sit him up front with me. Dad will you call the hospital and let them know I am on my way."
"Of course. If you need anything let us know. Keep us updated." He says as I head down the stairs and out the door.
Thankfully the hospital is near by, I don’t think I could do a long drive with him like this. Once I’m there nurses and doctors meet me outside with a bed to wheel him in. I follow close behind until they make me stop, “Nicole we need you to fill out some paper work and answer some question please. We will figure out what is wrong but we need you to help up figure that out. He will be ok we have amazing doctors on staff. We will get you back there to him as soon as we know what is going on.”
I start shaking as they start in on question after question. My mind is racing with all the possibilities. But in the end I can’t get it away from wanting Wesley here with me to help me through it.
Menka laced her hand in mine and we walked hand in hand out of the bus. I’m hoping that we don’t see any emblems because the last thing I need is for Menka to start getting hate, just for hanging around with me. I know we aren’t an item or anything but there’s a sudden urge in me that says I need to protect her in any way possible. We’re not dating, but I really like her and I want her to be my girlfriend, it’s just that she seems a bit hard to read.
We walked out of the bus and had another one of our security guards check if there were no emblems hanging around wanting autographs. He gave us a clear and we all started walking down the road to the restaurant. Menka and I were walking behind the others, so we could talk but I just couldn’t get any words out of my mouth. I was so nervous I thought I was gonna be sick. I started to feel hot and sweaty. I’m usually smooth with the girls, but for some reason, Menka does something to me. Something good, but it’s almost like she intimidates me.
"Hey, are you okay?" She asks, noticing that I look a little sweaty.
"I’m fine, hun,"
"You don’t look it Drew, you look like you’re gonna be sick. Drink some water," She said then takes out her small water bottle and hands it to me.
I smile and take it, drinking it as we stop in the middle of the pavement. She looks over at me and smiles and my heart melts. Wow I think I sound like a girl…
"Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah thanks. Where would I be without you?" I flirt. She scoffs and laughs and starts walking ahead of me. I run to catch up to her and intertwine our fingers together again. The restaurant was quite far away from where we were parked, so we had to walk a lot more.
Halfway to the restaurant, I told Wes that Menka and I were going to walk a different way to get to the restaurant.
"Menx, we’re going this way,"
"But everyone else is going this way. Why don’t we stick with the group?" I looked at her and she gave me a worried look.
"I want to take you this way. It has a better atmosphere and it looks beautiful the way we’re going. You’ll love it I promise you," I said putting my arm around her waist and pulling her in our direction.
We walked onto a different road that was more brightly lit up. It had lots of lights that were hung up above us, illuminating Menka’s beauty. I thought about telling her that but I decided not too. She gasped when she saw all the brightly lit lights above and looked to me.
We walked ahead and we came onto a bridge across the river. It had little lanterns hanging off the sides of it and had a few flowers around it too. Menka gazed at it in awe and went to have a closer look at the lanterns. She then stood up and looked out to the horizon along the river. I couldn’t help but get lost in her beauty. I walked up to her and snaked my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. She smelt so nice, that I had to tell her.
"You smell so nice, Menx," I mumbled into her shoulder. She laughed lightly.
"Thank you, it’s all for you," She said and we both laughed.
I felt her put her hands on mine, and we stayed there like that for a while just listening to each other breathing. Soon, she turned around and faced me. She looked up at me with her hazel eyes, and I looked down at her. I pulled her closer to me and she put her hands around my neck, like our Meet and Greet photo.
"I know this sounds super weird, Menx, but I really like you a lot. It sounds stupid, I don’t actually know anything about you but I want to. I want to know everything; I want you to be mine. I want to take you out on dates, and cheer you up when you have a bad day, I wanna do all that with you and more" I said, looking deeply into her eyes, so that she knew that I was being extremely serious. She looked into mine while playing with my hair, near my neck.
She didn’t say anything for a while; she just looked into my eyes, which made me worry. What if she said she didn’t want to be with me? What if she doesn’t trust me? I’m so fucking scared…
"Drew, I would love to be yours, but I…umm…" She said stuttering and not making eye contact with me anymore. I put my finger under her chin, and got her to look at me. At first she pushed my hand away, but after while she gave in.
"What is it? You wanna be mine but what?" I asked her softly. She looked back at me.
"I wanna be yours, but…umm I haven’t had a boyfriend before, so I wanna take things slow and I’m not sure how all of this works. And I know you’re thinking she’s 18 how can she not have had one but I haven’t and I’m scared because I don’t want it to be where you…leave me or something I don’t know. And then I think why me when there are so many emblems who are prettier than me and skinnier than me and have experience and then I’m really insecure and you might just want to-"
"Hey, slow down hun. I understand. I’ll take it slow with you; I promise I won’t hurt you ever. I’ll protect you from things okay? And as for all that crap you just gave me, you are gorgeous. You are thin and beautiful. I wouldn’t have called you beautiful for the first time when I met you if I didn’t mean it. You are beautiful to me and that’s all that matters, Menx okay? I said and she nodded.
I put my hands back around her waist and pulled her in again. She reconnected her hands around my neck and I leaned down and kissed her. At first, she didn’t kiss back but after a bit she did and we were literally making out on the bridge. My hands were traveling all around her body while she was running her hands through my hair making me moan. My hands traveled down to her bum and I lightly squeezed it. She pulled away once I did that.
"Sorry, I forgot we are taking it slow,"
"It’s fine. Come on they’re all probably in the restaurant now," She said wiping lipstick off my mouth with her hands. I grabbed her hand and we started to walk to the restaurant.
"So babe, tell me about yourself, I wanna know everything," I asked rubbing my nose into her cheek and she laughed.
"So babe, tell me about yourself, I wanna know everything," Drew asked rubbing his nose into my cheek and I laughed.
"Where do I begin? Umm, well my name is Menka, I’m 18 and I’m from London, England." I said looking at him. He smiled down at me and whispered in my ear.
"Mmm, I like the idea of you being 18, that means you’re legal baby," he said and we both laughed.
"Drew, in London, I’ve been legal since the age of 16," He looked at me in shock and I laughed at his expression.
"Anyway, I live with my mum, step dad, brother and my step brother. I am a Hindu, as you can tell from my name. Hmm what else. I finished school and I’m hoping to go to Uni soon in the fall. I went to a private all girls’ school from the age of 11 until now. I have really good friends back home, I play the guitar and I sing. Hmm what else? Oh my step dad is quite wealthy so we own two houses in London and we rent a house in Phoenix and in Venice Beach."
"You rent a house in Venice?"
"Yup, that’s where I’m staying while I’m here, in Venice," Drew smiled at me and kissed me again.
"You do know that I live in Venice Beach right," he asks as he pulls into a corner street.
"Yeah I know, remember I’m one of your fans, I do know things!"
It took about five more minutes from the corner street to the restaurant and Drew wanted to know more about me. I told Drew more stuff about me and he told me about his past and the fact that he used to be a bully and did get bullied. He also told me about the times when he used to smoke weed and get high almost every day and how he used to drink and had suicidal thoughts as a kid.
It turns out that we had a lot in common. I’m honestly in love with him and every little thing he does. But I want to take things slow; I don’t want to rush into anything. My mum told me to stay away from men like Drew, but he’s so different to all the others, and I am literally falling in love with Drew Michael Chadwick.
After a while we walked into the restaurant and I saw Kay waving her hand at me signalling that they had got a table. Drew and I walked to the table hand in hand and sat down with our friends. This was gonna be a good, fun night!
A/N I think this is the longest chapter, not sure. But hope you liked it! Most of things that were mentioned about Menka are true apart from the step dad. My parents aren’t divorced and I’m not 18, I’m 16 nearly 17 but yeah… Otherwise the rest of it is all true about me :) Stay tuned for chapter 5 lovelies
"So let me get this right. We are meeting two of your friends at the park?" I said putting on my makeup. I decided to wear a short floral dress and sandals.
"Yeah. He’s a friend of mine called Wesley and he’s bringing his brother Keaton with him. You’ll like him." My friend Tracie said.
"I hope you’re not trying to set me up with someone."
"I’m not. Wes is bringing Keaton because he wants Keaton to get out of the house since he’s been lounging around all day cos he broke up with his girlfriend." Tracie said and we left the house. We got into the car and started to drive towards the park. We had the windows down and we blasted music as loud as we could in the car.
After a while we got there and we started to make our way down to the middle of the park. Tracie and I were talking to each other and tried to find out where Wes has decided for us to meet.
"I think we’re here now," I said as I saw two boys sitting on a picnic blanket and one was waving to us and the other was lying down. I assumed the one waving at us was Wes. Tracie ran up to greet Wes and I followed behind her.
"Wes this is Stacy. Stacy this is my friend Wesley." She said introducing us and we hugged each other. That’s when I noticed his brother Keaton. He was gorgeous. His hair was nicely combed and his eyes were the perfect green. He walked up beside Wes and he looked right at me.
"I’m Keaton, Wesley’s little brother. You are?"
"Stacy," I said smiling. He smiled back at me and I felt my heart beat faster. We stood there staring at each other until Tracie butted in.
"So, Wes and I are going to go and get some lunch for us guys. We should be back soon," She said but I barely listened. Keaton and I were just looking at each other and smiling. Tracie and Wes walked off and left Keats and I on our own.
"So," He said, his voice almost a whisper and he sounded nervous. "Do you wanna go for a walk?"
"Yeah I would love that," I said and we began to walk around the park.
"Stacy, tell me about yourself." He said as we started walking around the park near a huge pond. It was surrounded by lovely flowers, with colours of pink, purple and red.
"Well, my name is Stacy. I’m 5’2. I love to go on adventures. Literally any kind of adventure thrills me and I love to travel. I would like to travel the world someday." I said shyly. I think Keaton noticed as he laced his hand in mine. My heart sped up and the air felt extremely thin.
"Wow. I would like to travel too someday. I mean I’ve been to a few places but not as many as I would like."
"We have something in common then," I said and looked up at him and smiled.
"Yeah I guess we do."
"I’m sorry about your girlfriend. Tracie told me you broke up."
"Thanks. I’m still getting through but its getting better,"
"So tell me about you"
"Well I love cats. I have a cat called Zuni and I play the guitar and I play bass. Wes and I, along with our friend Drew are in a band called Emblem3 and we’re hoping to audition for the X Factor."
"Wow. I would support you guys if you did audition. That’s amazing!" I said and he smiled. We ended up walking around the huge park at least twice, just enjoying each other’s company.
We talked for hours about where we grew up and our friends, our likes and dislikes. It turns out that we have a lot more in common than we thought we did.
"So you sing as well?" I ask as we sat down on a park bench. We would soon need to get back to Tracie and Wes since they were waiting for our return.
"Yeah I do."
"Will you sing something for me please?" I ask looking at him with pleading eyes. He chuckled and agreed. I stared at awe at him while he was singing. His voice was amazing and he looked at me as he was singing, making my heart flutter.
"Wow you are amazing! You should audition on your own!" I joked once he had finished singing. He laughed and then looked at me seriously. He leaned in and I did too. Before I knew it, we were kissing and our lips moved in perfect sync. We pulled away soon after and smiled at each other.
"Stacy, I think I’m falling for you," Keats said and rested his head on mine.
"Will you go out on a date with me?" He said and I nod. He smiles and leans in to kiss me again softly before we stood up and walked back to Tracie and Wes hand in hand.
(Sorry if this was really crap. This was my first one so I tried my best)
A week had past since I had been out to Eric’s grave. i had been served a huge restraining order and it stated that even though Eric is dead I have to remain distant from him. This terrible, god forsaken family really did run this town. My dad has a court date with Eric’s aunt so now I’ll have my chance to win back something. Justice or dignity, just something wrongfully taken. “Sammi will you come downstairs? We need to talk to you some more about your up coming court date.”
"Coming mom." I yell down to her. I set my sketchbook down looking at my new outline for my room. "What’s up?" I say plopping on the couch next to her after going downstairs.
My mom, dad and his first hand assistant Tyrell are waiting and looking between each of them. “We fear the judge will give into Natalie because of the situation.” My dad finally says.
"Can’t you request a different judge then?"
"Yes, but all the judges in town have the potential to turn this way." Tyrell adds.
"But it’s so obvious what happened. I thought this case was a straight open close because she broke the law. She devastated my future. She told my secret. Since when is that ok?"
"It’s not honey but with the amount of pending restraining orders the judge could determine you a threat and see her spread of the information as a way of protecting herself and her family." My mom says puttering her hand on my knee.
"Ty what can you do? You’re my attorney how do we go about making sure she pays for what she did. I mean ever since she told the world what I did my life hasn’t been the same. People have vandalized our home. They are treating me like I planned to kill them. She ruined all this for me. I can’t talk to the only friend I’ve found in this town. The kid I killed’s best friend and bother are treating me like a charity case. And because of this reputation I’ve acquired I can’t even get a small pinch of week to take my nerves down. This bitch is the reason my rebuild stopped. I am going to do everything to maker her pay for this."
"You have 2 options then; we can go to court and risk losing but also have a fighting chance to win, or we can drop the charges and just accept she lost her job."
"We are going to court and I am going to fight this to the end. The evidence is stacked against her. I didn’t tell anyone what I had done. I didn’t want it to follow me even after I found out Eric grew up here. I just wanted to feel welcome. Telling people what happened wasn’t ideal. But if the judge even attempts to swing her way for any reason we can nail him for being corrupt right? I mean the law is obviously stated."
"We need more people like you in the justice system. Fighting for those injusticely judged."
"Not going to happen dad. But what can I do to avoid any of this turning against me negatively?"
"Avoid all possible ways of breaking the restraining orders. That includes school. Either go early or don’t go at all. We will get the truants cleared because you were following restraining order protocol. I will also arrange it with the school to have your school work gathered daily and I’ll pick it up along with drop of the day priors work. I’ll always do it in the morning and get it to you so you can finish it early and have the day to yourself. That way you aren’t getting behind."
"Ridiculous that I can’t even turn in my own homework or pick up my homework."
"We can take some time for us and go to the city over and do some shopping." My mom says trying to make the situation better.
"It’s kind of pathetic that I have to leave town to go shopping." I say as I slump back against the couch.
"It will be ok. I promise. This will pass and people will move on. So just relax." My dad says trying to comfort me, but the irritation of the whole situation is obvious in his voice.
"We can do whatever you want. What is something you want to do on your days off? After your homework of course." My mom asks. I know they want me to do more than sit in my room working on my bedroom sketch.
I contemplate it and know what I want to do. “I want to get a tattoo.”
My mom’s face was priceless. “Are you sure?” She asks hesitantly.
"Yes I’m sure. It’s not like I want to get some curse word. I just want something that means something. " I say looking over at my dad, knowing he will give in to his little girl.
"Ok you draw something up and then let us decide if we are ok with it going on your body."
A huge smile spreads across my cheeks, “thank you dad. And thank you mom, you two have been awesome and so supportive through this all. I really wouldn’t be where I am now without you two.”
"We love you and just want you to be taken care of." My mom says giving a soft smile.
"So am I done here? I have a tattoo to draw."
"Yes go ahead we will finish getting things set up." My dad says as I stand up.
I head over to the stairs as Ty says, “one more thing, will you get on the stand and testify if necessary?”
"Absolutely." I say with dignity. I head up to my room and flip to a fresh page in my sketch book. I stare at the blank page trying to think of the one thing that would mean more to me everyday as I grow.
The staring persists until I hear a knock on the door. “Come in.” I call out after I recover from the surprise.
"Hey we really need to talk." Drew says as he and Ryan come walking into my room.
"Well welcome. What’s up?" I ask as Ryan sits in the chair at my desk and Drew sits on the foot of my bed.
"Cheri is putting together a council meeting." Drew says looking at the blank page.
"Oh um great. Why?"
"Because she thinks the charges against my aunt are bullshit. Honestly I would be doing the same thing." He says as he stares around my room.
"Usually it’s painted in some mural but after Cheri caused hell I destroyed it. Now I have a clean slate to work with." I say to Ryan.
"Drew had told me some beautiful art piece was in here. So I was surprised to see it white."
"I’m working on the next piece to ketch and paint. Gives me something to do until I can go back to school."
"You aren’t coming back to school?" Drew says with surprise.
"In order to make sure they can’t use breaking the restraining order against me I am staying home until court."
"Does your dad think they will try pulling that?" Ryan asks.
"Oh yeah. They have to use anything they can to find to get her off. The law she broke is obvious. She did something that is stated in her license agreement and her work contract. She could end up serving time just because of the amount of people that have found out. There are cases when the victims information gets leaked and they’ve been killed for it. I don’t think I will be killed for anything and if I am this town seems like the kind of place to rat out who did it. But she brought down a shit storm and now I’m being bullied and hated on by people who respected me before. Like an accident that happened 18 months ago changed who me in 24 hours."
"You really are going through a lot. I don’t think anyone fully understands the damage they are causing." Drew says as he picks up my sketchbook.
"No they don’t and they don’t care. If you want any of the pictures in there please just ask this time and not just steal it."
"I stole it for good reasoning."
"What reason did that happen to be?"
"I turned it in for your assignment since I knew you wouldn’t"
I sit up on the bed staring at him, “what assignment?”
"The one you told me about. It was the top of the class, Mrs. Stevens even turned it over to some high school art thing that gives out awards at the end of the year."
"Is that the charcoal one mixed with orange that just got taken down from the hall?" Ryan asks.
"Yeah Mrs. Stevens fought so hard to keep it up but your mom wanted it down."
"Probably wasn’t my mom. It was probably Melody. She is the one being the worst in this."
"And Cheri." I add grabbing my sketchbook back and picked up a piece of charcoal.
"I don’t even understand why Cheri is being a bitch. It’s not like this is her family and she didn’t even care after Eric died. No offense." He says looking over at Ryan.
"None taken. They did the whole memorial, but really after that no one except my family, you and Dallys really cared. I don’t know why everyone is freaking out like this it’s not like any of them really remembered him. It’s like the only reason to act like this is because the person responsible for the accident showed up in town. No offense." He says looking at me.
"We are all full of offensive things tonight, now worries though. But just remember he doesn’t need to be remembered by everyone. It only takes one person to keep him alive and trust me I’ll never forget.:
There is a rumble of thunder outside my window snapping my head up. “I was hoping that storm would hit.” Drew says looking pleased.
"Now they won’t be coming back tonight. We actually have freedom." Ryan says smiling.
"Hey Sam you ok?" Drew asks breaking into my daze.
"Yeah I’m good. How is it you found freedom with the rain?"
"Cheri took everyone up to the country club two towns over. They were going to play tennis but if the storm hit they were going to spend the remaining time in the spa and head back tomorrow." Drew says eying me closely.
"That’s good. What do you intend to do with it?" I ask trying not to show the deep breaths.
"What are you doing tonight?" Ryan asks.
"Staying home. Working on a couple sketches."
"Want company?" He asks.
"Oh um Ryan you aren’t even supposed to be here. I can get in so much trouble."
"I asked when I came in since it is your home and I was here after your arrival that I would get in trouble not you."
"Fine you two can stay but if the police show up then I had begged you to leave."
"Sam are you really ok?" Drew asks touching my hand.
I flinch and blink a couple times. “Yes I’m fine. Why?”
"You’ve been shaking since the first crack of thunder and you jump now whenever lightening flashes or thunder rolls."
"Brings me back. That’s why I picked California. It hardly rains here. This was the only option for nearly rainless states."
"Where does rain take you?" Ryan asks now seeming interested.
"The wreck. There was so much rain during that time. It stopped the day of graduation thankfully but seconds after the wreck happened I remember hearing the thunder. And I remember hearing it when I first woke up."
"What else do you remember from that night?" Ryan asks
"Now is not a great time for details like those. Maybe another time. For now I think it’s time for food and a movie."
“Hey Wesley.” Ralee says as she struts past me.
I smile, “how are you tonight beautiful?”
"Lonely. Care to keep me company?" She bats her eyes.
"Not now but find me later I could be just as lonely." I give another smile knowing it always worked on her.
She wandered away and I knew she would find someone else to entertain her tonight. My eyes were set on someone else. “How do you manage to work your charm so well on these ladies.” Kyle asks after being shut down again tonight.
"I don’t know it just works out that way."
"So who gets your attention tonight?"
With no second thought I say, “Y/N.”
"She doesn’t pay anyone the time of day. How are you going to get it from her?"
"You stumble around her."
"You’ll see." He chases off after Ralee and a few friends of her flaunt by. I look around trying to spot my girl knowing I had all the confidence I needed tonight. I see her standing with some friends over in the dining room. I take a deep breath and cross the room to get to her side. Finally there and I can feel my throat getting tight. I smile to her and say, "hey Y/N." It ends up coming out a lot more shaky than I wanted.
She smiled making my heart pound, “Hi Wesley. How’s your night.”
I can feel my brain losing control, I make an unintelligent noise. She grins again with a small giggle. I clear my throat and say, “it’s good. Glad to see you here.”
"You asked earlier if I was. I told you I wanted to see you."
My heart thuds as embarrassment courses through me. “Why am I being such an idiot?” I think to myself. “Yeah I remember. But I’m going to grab a drink I’ll catch you later.” I walk away feeling defeated, why am I such a spaz when she’s around? I reach for a beer and decide to just grab a water. I won’t be here much longer no point in risking anything behind the wheel. I head outside and lean against the house with a heavy sigh.
"You really are awkward. I thought your brother was bad but you just proved to me it could be worse."
"Thanks for the reminder I was trying to escape that."
"It was cute."
"You’re kidding right?"
"No. Why are you so nervous? I approached you."
"That makes my nerves worse. I don’t know. I lose my confidence around you."
"I like that I make you weak."
"Glad you like it."
"Come on for once someone is nervous around me. I find that totally flattering. Especially from you."
"This is great. But it’s not making me feel better. I’m actually going to head home."
"Oh come on Wesley it’s all fun. Knowing the most confident guy around gets frazzled with me. I like it." I shake my head and try to walk away. She grabs my arm, "ok ok I’ll stop. I just wanted to come talk to you without everyone else so you could fumble around and make me smile."
"My rambling makes you smile?"
"Yes and laugh and that’s all I could ask for."
"You are absolutely amazing." I say staring down at her feet unsure if I could actually say it to her face.
"My feet feel flattered."
"I don’t trust my voice to be able to say it to your face."
"Y/N I really can’t. I want to but I can’t."
"How am I supposed to make any moves with you if you can’t even look at me?"
I look up a little at her, “what are you talking about?”
"This…" She steps forward pressing her lips ever so gently to mine. "I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I walked up to you and you said bye instead of hi and blushed. I knew you were good for me."
"I can’t even talk, think, breathe around you. And yet here you are kissing me. Why I am such the girl in this situation?"
I try to build up some confidence and find a just enough, “Ego boost thanks. But hey I’ll get better.” I wrap my arms around her waist leaning in this time kissing her. My head felt fuzzy but I fought through. I had to be somewhat of a man in this. I pull away after a minute trying to catch my breath and calm my heart.
"Wow." She whispers. "Now I’m going to be all nervous if you keep kissing me like that."
"I’ll keep it up then i promise." I say leaning in adding another kiss.
"9 months together and we’ve gotten almost all the important holidays out of the way." He says stroking my hair while I lay on his shoulder.
"What other important holiday do we have?" I ask with a chuckle.
"Valentines day. That’s going to be a big one. Right before our anniversary I have to work it good."
"You’re a nut. I’m glad your family didn’t mind me crashing Christmas."
"They liked having you there. Did you notice how many times my mom basically asked when we were getting married?"
I laugh and say, “I noticed. She straight up asked when she was getting grandchildren from me. It’s only been 9 months and they are ready for our future.”
"Are you ready?" He asks taking the conversation to a serious level.
"You think?" He questions.
I’m not ready to tell him the full truth. I’m scared of what our future has. “I’m too full of ham and potatoes to know anything. I do know I love you. So that’s big.”
"I love you too." He tilts my chin up so my eyes meet his. "I mean it. I love you. Whatever you want it’s yours. I’ve said that from the beginning. I want to give you the world just as long as you want it."
"Maybe not the world but I want you." He presses his lips to mine sweetly stealing my breath. He moves his hand to the side of my face pulling me in deeper. The other moves around my body pulling me into his lap then rests on my lower back rubbing circles in it, sending chills up my spine. He breaks from my lips to pull my shirt off giving him the chance to kiss down my neck and along my collarbone. My head falls back as the heat rises between us. He moves both his hands to my ass as his lips cross my chest. A soft moan escapes my lips as he nips at my neck. He uses his hands on my ass to get us both off the couch as he carries me off to his room. He lays me against his bed getting back to kissing my lips, with more lust. I arch my back slightly rubbing against his groin. He let’s out a groin as he bites down on my lip. His hands roam down to my jeans, unbuttoning and slipping them off in seconds. He runs his hand along my bare leg leaving a fire not trail against my cold flesh. I close my eyes soaking in his touch. I push him over on his back and straddle his lap. I grab the collar of his shirt slowly unbuttoning each one and leaving a kiss against his chest after each. I feel pressure slowly build against my leg and smile as I slip lower leaving kisses above the top of his jeans. I slip them off with a bit of his help. I brush my fingers over his hard on watching it pulse under my touch. I run my tongue over it teasingly. Keaton throws his head back with a groan. He sits up grabbing my head and leading me back to his lips. "I don’t want to be teased. I want to feel you. Now." He moves me to the top of the bed and sets me on his lap slowly sliding inside me. My head falls back as I call out his name feeling his whole width inside me. He grabs my hips helping me move up and down hitting all the right spots. I climb up quickly, quicker than ever before. The ecstasy sends my blood and pulse soaring. I can barely control my body. Keaton sits up wrapping his arms around me moving so he is lying over me. He thrusts in and out faster and faster, climbing higher. "Ah fuck Keaton." I say as my body releases against him. He leans forward kissing my neck and along my chest. Without losing a beat. I feel his chest pressed against mine as the heat builds. I see beads of sweat run along his neck and over the pulsing veins. I feel as his muscles get tense. He presses his lips against my neck letting out a moan as he lets himself go. He climbs back to my lips and brushes my hair out of my face. "I hope you know how beautiful you are even after sex." He slips next to me pulling me close to him.
"You are crazy. I look sweaty and gross."
"You just gave yourself to me again. You let me see you vulnerable and it’s beautiful."
"How can you turn something so sweet?"
"You bring out the best in me."
"You for me too. I love you over the moon."
"I love you all the way back. Can I ask you something?"
"Will you move in with me?"
"Keaton are you sure? That’s pretty big."
"Yes I’m sure. We can start our new year with a big step in our relationship. I wanted to ask you this morning while opening our gifts but I got scared. I wanted to see how you were with my family today. I had to make sure you matched well on all levels. You were amazing with them. Really showed me how much I love you and how I want to make leaps and bounds in our relationship. I know you said you wanted to take it slow and I thought 9 months was slow enough for a move in. Please just say yes so I can hold you every night. It will make all my Christmas wishes come true." His eyes sparkle like a little kid getting the biggest toy truck.
"Keaton I couldn’t tell you no. I love you too much not to be with you every night and every morning."
"I can’t wait to have you here forever. I would go pack your entire apartment now."
"Just enjoy being here with me now and we can pack later."
"I’m too happy to just hold still."
"Figure out some way to."
He smirks at me grabbing the side of my face kissing me again. Taking us for round two.
Me too. I thought I knew where I was going with them and then I second guessed myself really bad and now I’m just stuck…again…
Unfortunately none really :( I never realized how clean and pure they were. So um the one that has the most written action is Drew And Emmy but it’s not really dirty in the end it’s more drama. Sorry usually when I write my short stories and stuff they are chalked full of it. I’ll get a real dirty one just give me a little time to finish the ones I’ve started and then I’ll give you that dirty one 😏
Ranel told us to go and wait on E3’s tour bus. Josie, Kay and I walked outside the venue where we got stuck into a huge crowd of other emblems. It was so hard to get to their tour bus without being stuck in the crowd. Eventually Ranel came through the crowd and made sure that we got onto the bus quickly. A lot of emblems saw and were shouting and questioning us as to why we were allowed on it. I didn’t like all the staring we were getting.
"This feels weird," Kay said as we opened the bus door.
We all looked at it in awe. The tour bus was amazing! It was so huge from the inside. There was a few black couches and a fridge with cupboards above them, I assume that’s where they put all their protein bars and stuff. They had a little table near a window where I assume they may sit and eat on for dinner.
We also saw a lot of things piled in a corner of the bus. There was a big pile of skateboards and long boards and a few surf boards were hanging on a rack behind one of the black couches. We walked on and we found their little bunk beds. A couple of them had the curtain open so we could see and guess whose they were. We saw one bunk bed whose curtain was open and we saw a laptop and a t shirt that had a cat on it.
"Keaton’s bunk" Kay said laughing a little. You could always trust Keats to have something with a cat on it whatever it may be.
We looked at another bunk and Josie opened the curtain a little bit so that we could have a guess as to whose it was. The bed was undone and there were a couple of fitness magazines and a few dog tags lying on the bed.
"I’m guessing that this bunk belongs to Wes," I said looking at it. Jesus Wes, you should really do your bed, it’s not hygienic. We looked around more and we found another bunk whose curtain was close so we pulled it back to see whose it was. The bed was done and there were different bracelets laying on top of the pillow next to The Bhagavad Gita. Yup…It had to be Drew’s.
"Drew’s," we all said together and ended up laughing. We sat on one of the couches at the back and got comfortable and started talking about the concert and what happened.
"Okay so you and Drew at the meet and greet. Care to explain? I mean his hands were literally all over you. Like the way he looked at you was like he needed you. If he could he would’ve ripped off all your clothes and do you right there." Josie said and I snorted.
"Okay for one thing, I don’t know what happened at the meet and greet. He had his hands near my bum and started leaning in so I moved away cos my beating was a little e-"
"Yeah exactly, and then he pulled me back in and said don’t be scared I’m not gonna kiss you if you aren’t ready for it. And then he brushed his nose against mine and the picture was taken. I don’t think he wanted to do me right there. Why me when he could pick a bagajillion other girls in the room?"
”Umm why not?! He obviously likes you a lot. Why don’t you see that?” Kay said staring at me dead in the eye.
"Because, I just…Well I’ve always been told that I should stay away from people like Drew because they could just end up using me. I know I’ve never had a boyfriend before, but still. I’m not saying that Drew is like that it’s just I get mixed emotions and I start contemplating stuff that’s all. Plus there’s so many pretty emblems out there, so it gets me wondering."
"Okay hold on a sec, nothing has even happened between them. Like it’s not like he has asked her to go out on a date or something. But if he does say yes, Menx. Ooh and tell him that you can sing!!" Kay said taking off her shoes and getting completely comfortable on the couch. I snorted again at my friends’ weird ideas.
"Yeah but what I’m saying is that I think something will blossom between the two of them. Kayle can’t you see it? He is literally smitten by her. Did you see the way he was staring at her while we were waiting in the Meet and Greet queue?" Josie said scrolling through her instagram.
I was just about to reply and say that she was being ridiculous when we heard the bus door open and heard yelling coming from the front of the bus. We were sitting at the very end of the bus where all the bunk beds were and waited for the boys to come and say hello. We saw Wes and Keats come in, Wes had lifted Keats up in the air and threatened to playfully throw him onto the floor. Drew followed in next, looking nervous for some reason.
"Look Keaty cat, we have new friends," Wes said in a baby accent and Keats whacked him on the head.
The boys sat down on the couch next to us. Wes sat next to Josie, Keaton sat next to Kay and Drew sat opposite me on a different couch. I ended up sitting in between Keaton and Wes since Drew didn’t want to sit near me. I felt a bit hurt. Oh my God, did he hear what I said? He couldn’t have could he? I did say I dont’t think he’s like that. Oh my God now he hates me, I thought.
"So guys, we were wondering if you guys wanna hang out with us tonight? It’s a way to get to know you guys and we haven’t had dinner so we were gonna go to a restaurant and have some, but we didn’t have any dates…" Wes said putting his arm around Josie.
"Yeah I think that’s a good idea," Kay said speaking up since Josie was in shock and I was in my own world wondering what was wrong with Drew.
He had been so quiet and hadn’t said a word, to anyone at all. I looked over at him and gave him a half smile and he returned it with a cheesy grin. I laughed out loud and everyone looked at me including Drew who started laughing too.
"So should we get going? It’s already 8:30, by the time we actually get the food on the table it’ll be 9pm.” Drew said standing up. He was wearing jeans, a white v neck and a beanie. He grabbed his jacket and threw Wes and Keats their jackets. We all agreed and got up to get our jackets. While I was putting mine on, I noticed Drew looking at me from the corner of my eye.
I finished putting my jacket on and I turned around and bumped into him.
"Shit, sorry I didn’t mean to bump into you I-"
"It’s fine Menka, it was my fault. So are you ready for dinner?" I nodded forgetting how to say yes in the moment. "Good, so let’s go for dinner." He smiled and he held out his hand for me to grab. I took it, grabbed my purse and we walked out of the bus hand in hand, following the others.
Drew: *POSSIBLY TRIGGERING BE CAREFUL*
So much to tell you and most of all goodbye. But I know that you can’t hear me any more. It’s so loud inside my head with words that I should have said. And as I drown in my regrets I can’t take back the words I never said. I never said I can’t take back the words I never said.
It was never meant to get to this point. I didn’t mean to let it get so out of my control. But now it’s controlling me. I don’t breathe, feel, cry or bleed without it’s command. I have no choice in the life I’m living. The pain is getting unbearable. It’s too loud all around me but I’m completely alone. Drew has tried so hard to help me through this, he has stood by my side and done everything in his power to help me but after a while I became beyond help. He is still by my side but that doesn’t mean I’m any less alone.
The choice came to me a few weeks ago after hearing Drew on the phone to someone saying he missed who I used to be and how he doesn’t know how much more he can handle. I love him and I won’t put him through my hell anymore. I put a letter on my table feeling good about the choice. I situate the chair just right making sure things are held tight all the way to the end. I step up with my heart pounding and ringing in my ears. As I close my eyes the peace is relieving knowing my freedom and Drew’s freedom is just seconds away. I wiggled myself in and with no second thought removed the chair to feel all the air and life slowly escaping my aching heart.
I get home that evening and find police cars and an ambulance. Y/BFF/N’s sitting in the back of the ambulance crying uncontrollably. “Hey what’s going on?” I ask as I squat down to look her in the eyes. “What happened? Where is Y/N?”
“I showed up to talk to Y/N and…oh my god…” She says breaking down into sobs again.
“Excuse me but this is my home what’s going on?” I ask an officer near by.
“Are you Drew Chadwick?” He asks before looking up at me.
“Yes. What is going on?”
“There was an incident and Ms. Y/L/N has died.” There is a pounding that starts in my ears as the world around me swirls. Something felt off today. She was too at peace and had a genuine smile about her. She kissed me before I left for the studio and…sobs start to break from my chest as I’m moved to the stairs in front of the apartment. My body shakes as a paramedic comes to make sure I’ll come back stable from this.
She rubs the back of my hand and whispers softly, “I am so sorry. I know that doesn’t bring her back.”
“Was there anything left behind? Does anyone know why?” I say staring at my shaking hands.
“The officers have a few of her possessions and it’s very possible a letter could be there. I know that doesn’t always help and doesn’t always say why but it is a start. I’ll go ask for you.”
I’m still working at getting my bearings and finding any air to breathe when she comes back over setting her hand on my shoulder. She places a plastic bag in my lap and walks away. I see a white envelope with my name written perfectly across the front. I slip my finger in the small lift and tear across. I hold my breath as I read the words in front of me.
“Drew, I hope you know I didn’t do this to hurt you. I did it to set you and I free. You don’t need to be around to babysit me and it’s not fair that I trapped you with my problems. I love you and always will. I know there are so many words that I want to say but can’t get them to fit right on here for you. I know you have so many questions but stop asking, stop wandering. I’m ok. I’m free. I wish there would be not regrets from you and I know I’m leaving with many. But just know you never did anything in my world to make this worse. You were the strength that kept me going for as long as I did. I will forever be grateful for that. There is so much more I need to say but words won’t help how you are feeling. All I hope is you didn’t find me that way, that you are able to remember me as the happy person I was the morning you left. I love you Drew and thank you for every little thing you did for me. You’ll be a great person and you’ll change more lives. Someone out there will be able to love you in ways I never could. Goodbye Drew, take care. Love Y/N”
The letter slips from my fingers as the right pocket of my jacket feels like it weighs hundreds of pounds. I should’ve done it weeks ago, I shouldn’t have waited. She would still be here if I only showed her how much I loved her. If I had only said what I needed to. I’ll never be able to take back the words I never said. She never got the chance to hear any of them.
Always in a rush never stay on the phone long enough. Why am I so self-important? Said I’d see you soon, but that was, oh, maybe a year ago. Didn’t know time was of the essence. So many questions, but I’m talking to myself. I know that you can’t hear me any more.
"Hey beautiful." His voice sings through to me over the phone.
"Hey how are you?"
“I’m missing you. I can’t wait to be home in a week. And be able to talk about that thing.”
My heart pounds like it does every time he brings it up. Keaton proposed before he left on tour. I love him but I couldn’t say yes. It took me months to say I loved him back after he said it the first time. “Um yeah I really miss you too. But I’ve got some stuff I need to go finish so I’ll talk to you later. Love you. Bye.” I hang up not giving him a chance to say another word but I sit actually confused as to why I didn’t let him at least say he loved me back. When did I disconnect myself from him? When did I get so worried about myself to not think of him? I’m never straight forward with him, I find it overly hard to tell him I love. What is wrong with me? I need to talk to him, explain what is going on. He needs to hear these questions but I can’t open up to him like I used to. During my self contemplation my phone starts ringing again. I swallow hard answering it softly, “Hello.”
“I really wanted to look past this and just deal with us when I got home. But honestly what the hell has gotten into you? You’ve changed so much over the last year it’s like you don’t even exist anymore.”
“Keaton I’m sorry. I was just thinking about that and trying to figure it out. I don’t know what is going on.”
“You are so full of shit. If you don’t want to be with me just fucking say it. Don’t lead me on and treat me like your lap dog. I love you and if you can’t love me back let me go.”
“I don’t want that. I-“
“Of course you don’t because you’re so selfish. You know you told me at the beginning of the tour you said you’d come out and see me. Tour is almost over and I haven’t seen you once. I’ve seen my sister in law more than I’ve seen you. And she’s pregnant still making an effort to see Wes.”
“I’m sorry ok. I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”
“No I want to hear you fight, I want to hear your need for me.”
“I’m scared ok. I’m scared. Loving you is confusing me. I don’t let emotions in, I take care of myself and never worry about anyone else. But here I am worrying about your every move. It is confusing as hell! I love you but each huge fucking leap is too much. I have enough problems with myself that I am scared you will leave me later on when you realize how fucked up I am.”
"Not talking to me and not communicating with me is only going to push me away and make it so I do leave you."
My voices lowers as I softly say, “I’m scared you will be like the other ones. I am absolutely terrified that you will stop hearing me and for a while I felt that you actually had. I was scared I was stuck right here by myself again.”
"You are never by yourself but you need to start making an effort for me. You need to show me that this isn’t all one sided."
"I’m trying Keaton I am really trying! What do you want me to do? Do you want me to jump in the car and drive three hours into Vegas to be by your side the rest of the tour? Do you want me to show up with a wedding dress and just marry you tomorrow? Because I will if that mean you will be happy. I am willing to do it all it is just frightening as fuck. But please just tell me what you want from me, I don’t want you to leave."
The longer I stand here the louder the silence. I know that you’re gone but sometimes I swear that I hear your voice when the wind blows. So I talk to the shadows hoping you might be listening ‘cos I want you to know.
The grass is still wet from the light bit of rain the night before, but I can’t seem to stand. My legs don’t have the strength to support me anymore. I sit waiting for this to become all a dream. That you will walk out here and tell me I am crazy for staring at a mound of dirt. But the longer I wait the more crazy I actually feel. A small breeze blows over my arms making bumps rise along them. As it drifts through the surrounding trees its like they are trying to pass a message along to me. Like you will be coming back I just have to wait a little longer. I stare off to the trees and whisper them a small message to take back to you, “Please don’t forget me, never stop loving me. I will love you as long as you ask me. Just hurry back. I can’t do this alone.” A tear slides down my cheek knowing he’s gone and won’t actually hear that.
The night of the accident was my fault. I just can’t admit that to anyone except myself. The weather has been terrible lately. So much rain. It was cold I remember feeling the chills over my body. We had fought, I was being stubborn and he was trying to be understanding. It wasn’t working for either of us. God if I had just listened and given in. I can still smell the fresh rain on the grass around me. He had sent me a text asking where I was. I told him waiting. He knew. He knew me so well just off that word. His car carefully came around the corner but that didn’t stop the semi driver from going carefully. Slammed right into the driver’s side. And within a heartbeat Wesley was gone. No questions asked, no unnecessary waiting. Just gone.
My heart thuds making me come back to the peace surrounding me. It was the loudest peace I had ever taken part in. I shiver hearing the whisper through the trees again. My head snaps up at the warmth of his voice. It was like he was standing just over my shoulder. I swear I heard him talk to me, I know I heard his voice. I know I heard him tell me he loved me again. My heart doesn’t pound like it used to. After the accident I swore I could hear him everywhere. I knew he was nearby. After a while my heart couldn’t hold the hope anymore.
As the breeze blows around me, shadows start to dance like they have a story to tell. “I love you Wesley. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to protect you. You only wanted what was best for us and I was too scared to admit you were right. I will hold onto you forever. I love you so much.” I pull myself to my knees and before standing up I brush my hand against the flower covered, fresh pile of dirt. “I miss you so much already.” I stand up looking down one more time at the only man who ever cared enough to come after me and never keep me waiting.
"Hi beautiful" I said as I hugged her tight for the third time that night.
"Hi Drew," she said quietly whispering in my ear. She made me shiver when she said my name. That has never happened to me before. And her accent was just…wow.
I pulled away from her but held her close to me. My hands were resting on her waist while hers were still around my neck from when she hugged me. I stared at her again, wondering how someone as beautiful as her could fall into the arms of mine. She gave me a shy grin and took her hands off my neck. She looked down to the ground and bit her lip. That had really turned me on I had to look away.
She looked back up to me and was about to say something when I stupidly butted in.
"I never got your name, beautiful,"
"Menka" she said smiling at me.
Just then Ranel called us to look at the camera and take the photo. The two of us looked at Wes and Keats who were hugging or either kissing Menka’s friends cheeks.
I looked at her and I pulled her into me and snaked my arms around her waist, near her lower back and she again put her arms around my neck. I leaned in so that our faces were extremely close, so close that you couldn’t even put a piece of paper through the two of us. My nose brushed hers lightly and she looked at me with her hazel eyes.
The closer I got the more her breathing became eratic and she slowly started to pull away. I pulled her back in again before whispering. “Don’t look scared beautiful. I’m not gonna kiss you if you aren’t ready for it. I just needed to get closer to you. Do you mind?” I said and she looked at me and shook her head. I smiled at her and the picture was taken.
For a while we just stood there admiring each others features until I heard Wes cough. I looked up and saw Menka’s friends, Wes and Keats staring at us. Menka obviously got embarrassed so she pulled herself away from me and stood near her friends.
"Thanks for the picture, Drew" she said playing with her hair.
"I should say thanks to you. Actually, what are you guys doing after the meet and greet?" i asked
"Nothing we were gonna go home after, why?" Kay stated nudging Menka and whispering something in her ear.
"Well you guys can hang with us since we have nothing to do and we think you guys are really interesting," Wes said playing with his snapback and winking at Josie.
"Urmm, yeah okay sure we would love to hang out with you guys. Where should we wait for you?" Kay said hugging Keats again.
"I’ll let Ranel know you’re gonna stay with us for a while and then he’ll tell you where to wait. Is that okay?" Keats said walking towards Ranel. The three girls nodded and I looked over at Menka and winked at her. She laughed and walked to where Ranel had told them to go.
I watched her as she walked over and waited for us. My heart was beating fast and my mind was going crazy. All I could see in my mind was her, all I could hear in my head was her saying my name.
Shit I had it for her so bad. I am in love with her. I know I haven’t spoken to her much or had such a big conversation with her but she’s different, a good different. Is it possible to fall in love with someone so quickly? I think so, I mean it’s happening to me and I’ve never experienced anything like this before not with any girl I’ve dated in the past.
I need to get to know her more. I wanna spend hours talking to her about herself and life and anything else. My mum always told me that when you’ve met the right girl, your heart will know. Everything in your body will know and will urge you to make them yours and you will fight to be with them and you’ll protect them.
She told me that every little thing that the girl does will set you off and you’ll find yourself falling more and more in love with her everyday. My mum told me that if she’s the right one you’ll need to cherish her well and love her the way she deserves to be loved. I know already that Menka is the one, I just hope and pray to God that she feels the same way about me…
It’ll get better I promise… I’m quite crap at writing stories :/