"So we all leave here with a girl tonight." Drew said as they are walking into the club.
"Are you going to have the courage to finally get back your girl?" Wes asked.
"I’m hoping. I really don’t want her to hate me anymore."
"You’ve been broken up for months. How do you even know she’s here tonight?" Keaton said stepping beside them.
"Oh she’s here I know she’s here."
"What about you Keats who are you taking tonight?" Wes asks.
"I don’t know we will see." He says with a smile.
"Wes what are you going to do?" Drew asks sarcastically.
"I don’t know you’ll have to wait and see. Meet at the bar in 2 hours whether you got the girl or not."
"Sounds good." Keaton says.
"Drew ain’t that your girl right there right now?"
A nervous smile spreads across his face. “Yes that is. See you in 2 hours.”
Rare there’s not too many. No one but you and crowded rooms, we can do anything. Attraction can drive you crazy. The way you move, you go crazy, that’s incentive for me.
I cross the room nervously trying to cover how freaked out I am. Y/N is convinced I cheated. I wouldn’t hurt her that way ever. I haven’t even looked at a girl the same way since her. She’s so one of a kind. I walk up next to her and her friends leaning in to her ear, “can we talk?”
"No leave me alone I hate you."
"Please let me explain."
"I don’t want you to explain if I wanted you to explain anything to me I would’ve talked to you three and a half months ago."
"Fine but I will be here all night and I want to talk to you before it’s over." I walk over to an empty table with a tall stool. I sit down and order a drink from the overly flirty waitress. She was just like the rest which meant she wasn’t who I wanted. I sit sipping my beer occasionally looking over at the one I wanted. Women would come and go but I wouldn’t pay them a second. None of them were her.
A girl walks up standing in between my legs. “Why do you looks so lonely baby?”
"Not interested. There is someone else. There always has been."
"She doesn’t care. She’s been dancing with other guys all night I’ve been watching you watch her. So let her go and be with me."
"No. You know why because even though she’s been dancing on other guys watching her dance is the sexiest thing ever. She’s rare and stunning. Nothing is better than that. I lost her because of a girl like you. So I’d rather not get mixed up with another. So have a good night and find someone else who is going to be interested. You deserve that. Don’t let someone use you for anything less than you are, find someone to care."
"Thanks. She’s crazy if she doesn’t give you another chance." She walks away leaving me along in the pit of all the words I just said.
"Did you mean all that?"
I look up, “every word.”
"You didn’t cheat on me did you?"
"Hell no. There is no one like you. You are so amazing and every movement of your body just draws me closer. I would never risk losing that, but I guess I did."
"Attraction can really drive a person crazy." She steps up between my legs this time closer than anyone has been in a long time. "I shouldn’t have jumped on the idea so quickly. I guess I just assumed since you forgave me when I did and most days I didn’t know how you could."
"Because I love you more than the air in my lungs."
"Take me tonight for the fun." She says leaning in whispering gently in my ear kissing along my cheek until she ran her tongue along my bottom lip then biting it softly. She was the only girl who knew my weakness before she knew me.
Yeah this was your city. You did it all and more, broke every law except for one, babe. Attraction are you ready? I know you feel it. Pull you nearer til you feel it again.
I’m sitting with Wes at one of the tables watching Drew have girl after girl try to come on to him. Wes even had a few but not a single one looked at me. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. The town trouble maker. Her dad is the juvenile judge, he was born and raised here and so was she. She runs this place. She is always getting in trouble and getting out of it. She dates real jerks and each time I see her she is with someone new. I only ever see her on nights like this. Best part of this tale I don’t even know her name.
She walks up to the bar right by us showing the bartender an obvious fake ID, he eyes it over and eyes her over. She twirls a hair around her finger and leans up on the bar pushing her chest out. He leans forward and says something to her causing her to take her ID and walk away. I saw it as my chance. I approach the bartender with a smile, “Hey Keats what’s up?”
"Just out for one of those nights. Could you hook me up with something?"
"Sure, you need a drink?"
"Yes several. You see that girl and her friend over there I need you to send over a full round of whatever she was just ordering."
"She was underage and I told her she wouldn’t be getting away with her trouble tonight."
"So am I but i drink for free. Do it for me."
"She rejected me not too long ago and now I see through her fake shit."
"She doesn’t do pointless attractions. You are so much older than her."
"Fine one round but you are taking them over there."
"Deal." He poured out several spider bites and set them on a small tray for me.
"Go get her tiger." I grin taking them off the bar and carefully maneuvering across the room to the group.
I get up next to them and clear my throat making them turn around and face me. My nerves kick up as all of them eye me over. “God I didn’t know this many women could make me nervous. I just wanted to bring drinks by for you all seeing as you didn’t win.”
"What do you want out of it?"
"Nothing. Am I not allowed to be polite?"
"Men aren’t polite. And if they are they are no fun."
I set the tray down grabbing a shot shooting it back. “I can show you we can be nice but just as fun.”
A few of her friends giggle a little. “I’m sure you can.” She says turning away from me.
I grab her arm turning her back to me but with only centimeters between us. “One song and I can prove it.”
"One dance, keep your hands to yourself. I push them away at all you’ve stepped bounds."
"Showing you I’m polite remember."
"This will be no fun." She says with a flick and drags me to the dance floor. The song shifts and I find it my lucky day, its a slower one meaning we get to be close now. She puts the back of her body up against my front triggering every typical guy thought to run through my head. I put my hands on her hips keeping boundaries. She rolls her hips right against me making me want to run my hands over her body. Instead I start moving in time with her letting a couple of my fingers run down the front of her leg. She rests her head back bringing her hands up by my neck. I tilt my head down trying to keep our space but still bring all of her in that I can. I bring my hands up pulling hers away from my neck and spinning her to face me. There is still no space between our bodies as the heat rises between us. I place my hands on her back just above her ass letting my fingers drape down a little lower. She leans in really rubbing her body against mine and leans forward placing a kiss against my neck. I don’t stop her but continue just to feel her.
The song comes to an end and I step away from her. She looks at me confused, “thank you for that dance. I’ve wanted it deeply.” I kiss her cheek walking away from her hoping it would work.
A second later I have a hand on my back stopping me. “Are you seriously not going to ask for another or rub it in that I had fun and you didn’t step any bounds?”
"No but thank you for admitting I was polite and fun."
"So you are just leaving now? No I mean ok fine go thanks." She turns to start walking away from me.
"Hey wait are you up for some more fun tonight? We have this thing we are doing here in a little bit and I would love if you came along. Just fun and I promise to behave."
"What if I don’t want you to behave?" She says coming closer.
"That might be able to be arranged. But only on one condition."
"What is that?"
"Oh my god you just danced with me, ordered me drinks and invited me to go out and you don’t even know my name. A bit risky wouldn’t you say what if things had gone farther what would you call out in bed."
"I would start running through a mental list and hope I was right with one of them."
"Y/N, call me anything other than that at in bed and I will punch you."
I wanna do something right but we can do something better. Ain’t no time like tonight and we ain’t trying to save it til later. Stay here living the life nobody cares who we are tomorrow. You got that lil something I like a little something I’ve been wanting to borrow. Tonight’s that night’s, come on surrender. I won’t lead your love astray, astray, yeah. Your love’s a weapon, give your body some direction. That’s my aim. Then we could take back the night.
"So looks like Keaton got his girl and Drew got his back." The bartender says looking out at the room. Drew is sitting with his girl on his lap around her friends. And Keaton has his tongue down his girl’s throat. "I did not think your brother would be able to land her. Props to him. So what are you going to do? Go out with them alone?"
"No, I never go alone. Tonight I am just hoping for someone particular."
"And who is that?"
"Y/N right over there, typically drinks alone until eleven then finds some guy. I was that one guy a few nights and now I’m hooked. Tonight I am hoping to take things a littler farther."
"Well now is your chance it is just after eleven and she seems available."
I smirk walking down towards her. “How are you doing this evening?”
"I was fine but you must want me to say I am doing so much better now that you are here."
"You can say whatever you want. I don’t force words to come out of your mouth."
"You like other things with me."
"Maybe later. Actually right now I was hoping that maybe I could talk to you about something."
"Maybe what about?"
"I want to take you out tonight. In like twenty minutes."
"I don’t think so. I haven’t drank enough to let anything happen."
"Stop drinking completely you don’t have to have liquid courage for what I’ve got planned. Its sort of like a tradition whenever my band gets bored. Please just come with us."
"Going out like that means people start getting connected. I don’t do connections, they are terrible things. That’s why we have stopped doing what we do because you were going to start letting emotions play in it."
"Its all just fun. I won’t hold you to anything you say tonight tomorrow. Just stop worrying about what your head says and follow your heart. I promise you it is pointing you in the right direction."
"You know my stance on it all. Really Wes it does sound exciting but not tonight. Why do you want me there anyways I’m not all that entertaining."
"You have something about you that I find fun. That I find interesting and I want you there with me tonight. Now please just say yes besides you are the only person I want to invite and I waited until the right time to ask just in hope you would say yes." She starts to say something, "Stop thinking and just do it. This is fun I promise. I will make it worth it for you."
She looks like she is about to object when she sighs and says, “fine I will come but if it turns out that it isn’t fun, I have all permission to leave.”
"Deal." Drew and Keaton walk up smiling along with me, "Ready to go have some fun?"
"The fun has already started." Keaton says pulling his girl to his side.
"What exactly are we doing?" Y/N asks me.
"Taking back the night."
Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow and every tomorrow, maybe you’ll let me borrow your heart. And is it too much to ask for every Sunday and while we’re at it, throw in every other day to start.
Drew lays on the bed playing with my hand hovering over me, occasionally kissing my collar bone. “When are you going to disappear?” He asks after leaning down kissing my neck.
"Do you want me to leave?" I ask raising my eyebrows at him.
"No don’t leave. If I had it my way I would never let you leave."
"I don’t do the whole sticking around thing." I sit up pulling away from him reaching over for my jeans.
"I shouldn’t have said anything because now you are going to leave."
"I feel I have to. I don’t do the whole scary commitment thing you know that."
"But when you leave I won’t know when you will be back. I have no way to talk to you and no way to just show up on your doorstep like you do mine."
"Drew why now? Can’t we just have fun." I say as I do the skinny jeans dance buttoning them around my waist."
"I’m sorry I will stop just come back and lay down and I will let it drop."
"No I am going to go since I made shit awkward. I just have to find my god damn shirt." I say as I get my bra latched around my back. I look down at Drew’s hand to see the red fabric bundled up in his hand, "please hand it to me."
"Only if you stay and let me make you dinner."
"Its time for dessert, dinner was hours ago. We were busy through it. Please I just want my shirt no problems."
"Come get it." He says with a smirk.
I lean forward to reach for it but instead I fall forward landing on his bare chest. We both start laughing uncontrollably, “how the fuck did I manage to fall?” I say while calming down.
"You are just clumsy, but it gives me a chance to do this." He locks his hand around the side of my face pulling me down to his lips. He will never find out but whenever he kisses me my pulse takes off and I don’t seem to find enough oxygen ever. He pulls away, "your shirt my lady."
"Thank you." I get up throwing it on. I check myself over in the mirror making sure not to walk out looking too much like I’m taking it with shame. Drew gets out throwing on some shorts. As I head out he follows me to the door. "I’ll be back." I say as I lean against the door frame.
"I’ll let you choose this time."
"You said I get to choose."
"Good that’s a start. I think I should get you everything Sunday just to be fair."
"I don’t do fair. But maybe that can happen. Maybe."
"Its good enough for me at this point. I will see you tomorrow." He leans down kissing my cheek, "be safe, and remember I’ve only got one and I’m letting you borrow it." He says brushing his fingers across the charm on my neck.
"I’m always careful, especially with that." I walk away from him getting out of sight before I reach up where his fingers had just been feeling the heart charm resting on against my skin, wondering if Drew knew I left mine with him a long time ago.
Keaton; His P.O.V.
No I won’t fill your mind with broken promises and wasted time. And if you fall, you’ll always land right in these arms, these arms of mine. Don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me. 'Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true, with me. Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free. So don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me, me. It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me, not such a bad thing to fall in love with me.
"Is Y/N going to be there?" Wes asks as we drive up to the party.
"Of course. She was the one who told me about the party."
"Do you think she will be decked out in something new to try and impress you?"
"She doesn’t always buy something new."
"Only when she invites you to come out." Tyler says from the pack seat.
"Shut up. Nothing like that happens between us. She doesn’t believe in love, not since her parents split and then her mom got another divorce from her step dad. She thinks she will be just like her mom."
"Prove to her she won’t be. Stop putting yourself through that hell and just do something about it." Wes said as he knocks the car into park. We head inside and I quickly spot Y/N to the side dancing with some of her friends. I walk up behind her putting my hands on her hips falling into rhythm with her.
"Hey stranger I have a guy showing up tonight, I don’t think he will like much that I’m dancing with someone else."
"Are you two dating? I know not to dance with unavailable women."
"No I’m not dating him, we never have to tell him." She says turning around in my hands pressing her body against mine. "Secrets always make the night fun."
I stare at her trying to decide if I should be worried about that or not. She smiles and I feel the worry melt away. I pull her closer setting my hands on the small of her back, “you look amazing tonight.”
"You look pretty good yourself, absolutely delectable." She says with a smirk.
"Am I the last person you slept with?"
She stares back stunned. “Um where the hell did that question come from?”
"Just answer it."
"Yes you are. There hasnt been anyone else. But lets not discuss it right now, lets make tonight fun."
"I can’t. I got told just to play along and put it out there but I just can’t, excuse me." I say walking away from her.
"Keaton where are you going?" She says following behind me. "What are you talking about?" She asks following me out the front door. "Keaton God damn it stop." I get far enough away from the house I’m ok with stopping. "What the hell is going on? Are you ok?" She says genuinely concerned.
"You. That’s what’s going on. You are running through my veins and it’s a lot to handle."
"Keaton just say whatever you feel you need to say."
"It’s ok if you love me. I mean it’s ok to fall in love with anyone even if its not me."
"I am just sick of the lies that’s why I don’t believe in love. It is all based on lies."
"I’ve never lied to you not once. I’ve never broken a promise. But here you are fucking around doing who knows, not living the dreams you know exist. I can prove to you all that, but you won’t give me a chance."
She pulls in a deep breath looking up slightly, “you know why that is a hard almost impossible thing for me to accept.”
"But it is possible and you just said so yourself. I care about you so much just give me the chance. If you fall I will catch you, I’ve been standing here waiting with my arms wide open for you."
She walks up to me grabbing onto my belt loops, “I have loved you for a long time, but I am terrified to fall in love with you more.”
"Don’t be scared, I will always love you and falling more together will only make us both stronger." I wrap my arms around her waist leaning down to place a small kiss on her lips.
Wesley; His P.O.V.
I know people make promises all the time, then they turn right around and break them. When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you’re bleeding. But I could be that guy to heal it over time and I won’t stop until you believe it, 'cause baby you're worth it.
"Why do you let him treat you so badly?" I ask standing in the doorway to her bathroom.
"I don’t let him treat me badly that is why we fight. I refuse to let him use me as a doormat."
"But yet he keeps trying. Are you going to get sick of fighting him one day and just give up?"
"No you’ve known me long enough that you should know I don’t but up with anyone’s shit."
"But what if he was hurting you in ways you didn’t know?"
"Wes what are you talking about?"
"Do you remember how you went to your one friend’s bachelorette party and all us guys went out? Elliot hooked up with one of the girls we met out and they’ve been hooking up ever since. I didn’t know how to tell you or I would’ve told you sooner."
"Is it horrible that I kind of assumed he was cheating again? I didn’t want to believe it. But i guess it’s my fault. I gave him back the knife seeing as he didn’t cut me deep enough the first time." She puts her hands against the sink looking down. I can’t find any words to say that would make it any better. At least nothing I can tell her right now. Truthfully with Elliot out of the way I might be able to finally tell her how I feel. I snap back to my head to see her melting to the floor against the wall with her knees tucked to her chest, "I loved a liar. How many others have I loved? Why is it that whenever I feel things are going good they change, and they just aren’t? I am so sick of people and their promises of love and ever after it really is all just bull shit." She reaches up trying to be sly and wipes a tear from her eye.
"Not all of us are that way. Only ones who don’t know what they have when they’ve got it." I sit on the floor next to her and she rests her head against my shoulder. "You know there are people out there who worship the ground their women walk on, you deserve a guy like that. Not one who pushes you around but challenges you. You deserve a guy who will make you a princess but won’t let your head get overly inflated. There is someone out there for you."
"Oh yeah and who is that?"
"You never know for sure but he could be a lot closer than you think."
"What are you rambling about Wesley?"
"I just don’t like to see you hurt and have you ever noticed when you are in pain you call me, you have me rush to your side and need convincing to get work things out. I always wonder if I never spent time telling you to give him another chance over and over where you would be. Where we could be. I am always the one to help heal your heart after Elliot cut it over and over. I am sick of seeing him make you bleed."
She leans away forcing me to look her right in the eye. “Are you saying what I think you are saying?”
"What do you think I’m saying?"
No more words pass through her lips, she leans forward pressing them into mine saying everything she needed with just the small gesture, that in the end meant more to me than she will ever understand.
"Why are you so awkward around girls?" You ask Keaton as you walk through the front door.
"I don’t know, I always get so uncomfortable." He says sitting on the couch.
"What is so uncomfortable about other women but you can hang around me all you want?"
"I like you more than them. And I’ve known you longer. I would’ve been awkward around you too had I not grown up with you."
"I am glad I missed that and we can just be us." You say as you plop down next to him on the couch.
"Where are your parents? Your mom is always home when we get back from school."
"My dad is at work, my mom is out doing who knows what. So it’s just us for a little while."
"Yes what kind of trouble can we get into while they are gone?"
"I’m thinking junk food, tv and no homework."
"I second that." You go to the freezer pulling out a tub of ice cream and grab two spoons. You set it in between you both and start digging it. You turn on some music in the background just to have something fill the spaces when you arent talking.
He sets his spoon down and says, “how are you so confident around guys?”
You choke back a little on your ice cream, “you think I’m confident? Far from it.”
"But you’ve dated other guys."
"Are they awkward with you?"
"Sometimes. I think it’s cute when someone is awkward. Makes me feel powerful knowing I can make a guy stumble on his words just because I’m me. Why do you want to know?"
"There is this girl that I’m in to and I don’t know how to go about letting her know without getting tongue tied."
"Oh um well I don’t know how much help I will be in that department."
"Anything will help."
"Do you have any experience? I don’t know why I asked that because I know the answer. Keaton I don’t know what to do to help." His eyes look so pleading you just have to help. You set the ice cream on the floor next to you both. "Ok we are going to give you some of that experience. Now don’t take this weirdly it will help I promise. At least you’ll be able to know you are past the strange stages." I slide across the couch so I’m sitting right in front of him. "Kiss me."
"Kiss me. Come on don’t be a sissy."
"That doesn’t make me want to kiss you."
You reach out touching his hand brushing your hair over one of your shoulders trying to act a little more flirty. “It will be ok Keaton at least it’s with your best friend.” Honestly you had been trying to get the courage to kiss Keaton for years now. This just seemed like the perfect opportunity to see if you were compatible. You touch the collar of his shirt and lightly brush his neck. He leans in quickly towards you almost knocking heads. You hold up your hand slowing it down taking control. You brought his lips to yours slowly trying to keep any accidents from happening. He sucks in a breath just as they connect. His sharp breath is enough to cover your sigh from the softness of his lips against yours. He places his hand on the back of your head, wrapping it in your hair pulling you close to him. As the kiss intensifies you can feel it all coursing through your body. Your heart pounds as he slowly starts exploring with his tongue. You respond with a soft moan. You grab onto his shirt pulling him closer to you slowly lying back making sure not to break the kiss knowing this could be the only time it happens. He responds hovering his body over yours, setting you against the couch as softly as possible. You run your hand along his chest as his lips trail away from yours and down your neck. He nips gently at your sweet spot making you moan again and arch your body against his. His shirt lifts a little revealing his inviting flesh. You take the hem of his shirt sliding it up and over to the floor. Your heart thuds loud seeing the perfect contours of his body pressed against yours. He leans back down kissing you along your jaw bone again.
He goes up to your ear whispering, “it’s always been you. I’m not scared to tell you now.” He places his lips back against yours stealing the last of your breath.
He places his hand in your waist sliding up just a little bit of your shirt brushing against your skin you are about to slip it off completely to let him close to you when you hear a door close outside. You jump looking Keaton in the eye panicked, “my room now go.” You say shoving him off and down the hall. You slam the door behind you locking it pushing Keaton back against your bed straddling his lap.
"Wait what’s going on?" He says stopping me.
Red creeps into your cheeks, “oh um well…”
"Now who isn’t so confident."
"Are you sure you’ve never kissed a girl?"
"Because you are really good at it and I liked them." You say looking away from his eyes.
"I meant what I said out there. It’s always been you. Please don’t kiss me again if it’s not the same for you."
You lean over his body kissing his lips, “it’s the same for me. Has been for years. This was just an excuse to finally kiss you.”
"I’m glad you did. I wouldn’t have been able to ever. You always make me nervous."
"Don’t be nervous around me." You press your lips to him again with a small smile.
There is a knock on your door causing you to sit up quickly, “Y/N are you in there with Keaton?”
"Yes mom we are studying."
"Oh ok. Seems pretty hard to do that with your backpacks out here. Also Keaton your shirt is on my living room floor. Glad you two are finally together be safe. No sex in my house."
You lean forward as Keaton wraps his arms around you, “well at least we know she doesn’t mind.” He says kissing you again.
So I just gotta put this out there ya know not a big deal or anything but…..KEATON IS LEGAL!!!! KEATON STROMBERG IS NOW OFFICIALLY BANGABLE!!! No more feeling like a perv for drooling over all his glory and sexiness!!! It is the day of the Gods!!!!!
That is all :)
People see someone counting down to their birthday as excitement for the right of passage or just eagerness for gifts and cake. But I saw it as my chance to finally be in love. She is three years older than me and even though her feelings towards me are the same the risks to a relationship like that were more than we both wanted to pay. So we waited. Not too patiently either. We would sneak around but after some fans saw me leave her place late one night it had to stop before she got in some trouble. “This is going to be the longest 28 hours of my life.” I say while I pace around my apartment.
"Keaton chill let’s go out of town or something and we will have you back in time to turn 18."
"No I’m just going to sleep through most of it hopefully and avoid Y/N at all costs."
"Aren’t you all going out for dinner tomorrow night as a pre birthday thing?”
"Shit fuck I forgot about that. How am I supposed to do that? I can barely contain myself around her."
"Steal her at midnight and fuck her brains out like you’ve wanted to.”
"I have other plans at midnight.”
"Which are?" Tyler asks looking suspicious.
"You’ll never know. I’m going to head to be and try to get some sleep."
I go into my room and lay on my bed thinking about what the next 24 hours will bring. My phone lights up and I roll over to look at it, *Is it ok if I bring a friend tomorrow to your birthday dinner?*
*Um sure? Who?*
*Just a friend. I just wanted to throw it past you before I made any solid plans.*
*Yeah ok that’s fine I can’t wait to see you.*
*Yeah same here. Talk to you later. Bye.*
I set my phone down not feeling good about how that ended. The next day Tyler drives me down to the restaurant we made reservations at for me. We head inside and Y/N isn’t there yet but server all of my friends, Drew and Wes are. We sit around talking, eating and just bull shitting in general.
After we order dinner Y/N walks in with this guy linked to her arm. “Hey guys this is Brian, he’s new to town so I thought id invite him along just for some fun. Keaton said it was ok. Right Keaton?” She says barely looking at me.
"Yeah it’s cool. Nice to meet you Brian." I say giving a slight smile.
Tyler leans over to me, “are you really ok with this?”
"No but I guess it needed to happen since I’ll never be old enough or good enough for her." I look across the table to see her hand on top of Brian’s and and them smiling to each other. "Hey guys thanks for the dinner and it was great. But I’ve got some plans at midnight and I need to go get those plans all set together.” I head home to sit around by myself and come to term that those plans were ruined by Y/N.
Tyler shows up a little later, “dude you missed the fun after you left. Wes jumped all over Y/N for bringing some guy when obviously she did it for shitty reasons. Then she stood up told everyone to fuck themselves that she did what she needed to to get through the night with Brian right behind her.”
"Whatever she doesn’t care."
"How do you know that?"
"She showed up to my birthday dinner with someone else."
"Aren’t you glad she did though? I mean we got swarmed by paps when we left so obviously you did. They saw her with another guy no more trouble for you two."
"I’m 18 in an hour why the hell does she need to be seen with another man?"
"She did it for you. Go find out."
"No my plans were ruined with Brian."
"How do you know that?"
"Tyler just shut up."
"If you don’t take the chance you’ll never know. I’ll see you in the morning."
I pace around after Tyler goes to bed. Twenty minutes before midnight I jump in the car and drive up to my spot. It was a perfect ridge that let me see the city lit but it’s enough that I can see the stars. I pack my car to see another one already there. I step out and say, “Hey how long have you been here?” When I get to the edge.
"Almost an hour. I figured if waited long enough you would show up like planned."
"How is Brian?"
She laughs a little, “good probably getting some lovin from his boyfriend.”
"What?" I say confused.
"He’s gay. I just brought him so I would have support while fighting all my urges. Knowing you were about to be legal has been killing me. We’ve waited so long for this day."
"I know. How much longer?"
"2 minutes. Can we just claim it off New York time and say you’re there already?"
"We’ve been waiting since I was sixteen I think we can wait 2 more minutes."
"1 and a half now."
"I’m sorry for being so jealous of Brian I didn’t mean to spoil the night."
"You didn’t. I should’ve told you but I wanted to see your reaction also. I had to know you still wanted me even after we’ve fought so long to get to this point."
I look down at my watch and smile. I step up and stand inches from her face,
"I’ve always wanted you." I say kissing her softly.
"It’s 2 after. I’m officially 18." She smiles to me and throws her hands over my shoulders. I pull her in close for another kiss. "I love you so much and I’m so happy we get to be together now."
"I love you too. Happy birthday Keaton."
I am taking a small break from my fanfics. I will get back to them I promise I just need a little time without having to focus so hard on them. So I am going to stick to requests for now and get completely caught up on them. Don’t worry that won’t take me very long. I just have a lot going on and cant get my chapters to flow right right now. Thank you all for your patience. I love you all!
Sleeping alone for so long can make a person hallucinate. I was told that some of the guilt could lead to that. It started with her just showing up on the street and then went to seeing her around the house. I miss her beyond the world but there is nothing I can do. She’s gone. She’s really gone.
I roll over tired of fighting for sleep. I know it’s not coming, it never does. I open my eyes and nearly jump out of bed. I stare fighting not to let my eyes blink. “Stop staring at me.” She says and pink crawls into her cheeks.
"I can’t look away or you’ll disappear." I say fighting the urge to blink.
"I’ll be here you don’t have to kill your eyes." I blink a few times getting them to refocus. When I look back she’s still there. "See I told you I’d still be here."
She reaches out touching my cheek. Her warmth spreads through my whole body. “Are you really here or am I just too tired and my mind is playing tricks?”
"If I wasn’t here could I do this?" She comes closer to me setting her lips against mine softly.
"I don’t know what is going on. How can you be kissing me?"
"Stop asking questions and just feel it. Kiss me back and let it make the decisions." I do exactly as instructed. I grab the side of her face, feeling her in my hands again. I bring her back to my lips, kissing her like she hadn’t left me. I clasp her hand pushing it back against the pillow trailing away from her lips, searching for more of her to kiss.My heart pounds as I hear her breath catch and her body presses against mine. "I’ve missed you so much please don’t leave me again." I say kissing against her neck.
"You have me now enjoy the moment while you can."
I pull away from her to bring her close to my side just to marvel. I play with her hair and trace along her body with my hand. I lace our fingers together refusing to let go again.
"I love you." I whisper softly.
"I love you too I always have." She says back pulling my chin up to look her in the eye. "Remember you have a life to live, don’t refuse to do that."
"I don’t want to live without you."
"You did everything you could to save me."
"I tried to save Trin. I let you go."
"I’m happy you did. You protected out baby girl. Trinity needed you. You saved me by protecting her."
"But I failed even at that."
She rests her hand against my cheek as I lay into it closing my eyes, “you are very strong Drew you have so much ahead of you.”
"That sounds like goodbye."
"It’s never goodbye Drew." I stop her from leaving me by smashing my lips against hers. I need more. As my lips explore hers, my hands travel over her body feeling every part. I’m using then to program it all into my head, never giving myself the chance to forget. "I love you." She whispers against my lips.
"I love you too." I say just as softly fighting back my tears.
"I’m always here Drew I’m never too far away."
"You are too far away. You both are."
"Our angel is exactly that. She is ok."
"Why can’t I be there? Why do I have to be here alone?"
"They knew I couldn’t be here alone. They gave me Trinity because I needed her."
"I need you why can’t I have you?"
"I’m here now because I knew how badly you needed me. I’m always close you just have to seek me out."
"Just come back to me so I can hold you every night and kiss you every morning."
"You’ll find someone to do that with again. You’ll get to give someone the love you gave me. There is someone who needs you Drew. Go be her reason like you were mine."
"I miss you so much." I say brushing the hair out of her face.
"I miss you too. Now hold me let’s get some sleep." I tuck her close to my body holding her tight. Praying that she will be mine again and will be here when I wake.
The sun burns my eyes as it streams through the window. I open them slowly afraid of what I would find. My bed is empty but horribly my arms still feel like she is there. I touch the spot where she had been. It still feels warm. I roll over towards the window and look at my bedside table. A picture of her bright smile with me holding her tight looks back at me. I touch the frame softly, “I miss you. Hurry home.”
"Don’t be mad at me." Drew says coming through the front door.
I turn and look at him, “what did you do?”
"Yesterday I went out with the guys and we did a little shopping. Keaton found this shirt and well here."
He hands me a lump of black fabric, I unfold it to find a small shirt that says Blink-182 on it, “Where did you find this? Its way cute and works for either sex. That is awesome. Why would I be mad about this?”
"Well I kind of sort of might have been caught by some fans."
"Drew why the hell were you not more careful."
"I was excited I’m sorry thats why I said please don’t be mad at me."
"You never said please. But whatever its all on your now. They are not my fans they are yours."
"Well there is this picture going around of me at the store with the guys and then I guess when we went out to lunch the other day some fans saw us and took pictures of that. We were trending in the US."
I glare at him hoping to scorch his soul, “you have got to be kidding me.”
"No. But they keep asking why the baby clothes were for seeing as you aren’t showing. But a few said you have a motherly glow. Which you do you are beautiful."
"Flattering gets you nowhere Chadwick. What are you going to do? Are you going to tell them? Are you going to lie and lead them astray until we are out of the danger zone? I still have the chance to miscarry we have about a week before I will feel better and not always so worried that I will lose the baby. I am growing really attached, but the risk is still there."
"I know that is why I came over so we could talk about it. I think its time to tell the fans but we will keep you out of any form of limelight until you are more comfortable and confident our baby will be ok."
"Have fun telling them they are going to freak you know that right?"
"Yeah I know. But I will deal with it, this baby is what matters right now and I will still work with the music thing I just need to build myself up to that point."
"Ok how are you telling them."
"Well I do have this idea." He pulls his phone out doing a few things then he says, "ok hold this right here." He has me hold the shoulders of the shirt and pulls my hands down so the shirt hangs right in front of my stomach. I hear the snap of his camera then he is typing again. He grins up at me then turns to show me what he did. There is a tweet that says "To all those who want to know rumors are true #ImGonnaBeADad" Then attached is the picture of the shirt.
"I hope you don’t regret that later."
"I won’t. I don’t like keeping secrets from my fans. it feels good to know they know."
"Talk to me please." Keaton begs from my front porch.
"Have you grown up?" I ask.
"I don’t know. I just need to know you are ok."
"Keaton I needed that the other day. But no you weren’t there for me. I feel like you are never there for me. You were down in Huntington visiting your mom at the same time I was. I went and hung out with friends on the beach for the weekend and told them all the news. They were all so supportive but you the father couldn’t even show up to a nurse consultation claiming to be scared. Well what do you think I am? Do you think I am just over the moon in excitement about being a mom at sixteen? No I am terrified. I have no support from my mom and I feel like I have no support from you. When you can make a grand enough gesture that proves to me you are serious about this and are ready to stand by my side through it and own up that this is your responsibility too let me know." I shut the door refusing to just give into him. Even though thats all I want. I know he is trying but I have to make sure he knows I’m serious about this. He can’t just get away with coming in and out and dealing with this whenever he wants and not dealing with it when it seems convenient.
I head back down to my room hoping he will leave seeing as I wont be letting him any time soon. I try to work on some homework to get turned in so it can be graded before I make the full transition from my Huntington school to the San Diego school. It feels strange to be thinking about going to school while pregnant. My due date falls to a point where if I am careful I might be able to hide it all through school and then just show up next year a mom. I had been so lost in thought that when my phone rings it causes me to nearly fall off my bed. I answer it seeing as it is Cami, “Hey what’s up?”
"Have you seen Keaton’s instagram?"
"He is on your front porch putting up a series of videos. I think you should go watch them he has 4 as of right now."
"Am I going to want to kill him?"
"Probably. If you need me call me. I am so sorry."
I hang up the phone going right to instagram finding the videos he is putting up. I press play on the first one and listen to what he has to say, “Hey Emblems Keaton here you all know about my amazing girlfriend Y/N well her and I are fighting and I’m sitting on her front porch right now trying to get her to forgive me, but I messed up big.” That video ends and my heart has a small ache to it.
I play the second one, “I wasn’t there for her when I should’ve been. She needs me and I was a coward but she made me realize that she needs me to be strong, she needs me right now. She is dealing with a lot and I am making her do it on her own.”
I pull up the third one while sitting up on my bed, “So I have something I am going to tell all of you to show her how serious I am about all of this. Now please don’t go off hating on her and not being mad at me. This situation takes two and I am just as responsible.”
I panic as I play the fourth one, “Y/N is pregnant and having my baby. Now please understand she is all about making sure this doesn’t change anything with the band or our music. We both want me to keep up with my love for music. Please remember I love all you Emblems and nothing is changing except that there will be a new Emblem baby in our family.”
A fifth one had popped up sometime during my watchings. “I love you Y/N now please come open the door so we can talk. I want to make this up to you please. I love you.”
I climb off my bed going upstairs opening the door, “you had to tell everyone on Instagram, really?”
"I felt that it would get the best response and you would have to come talk to me since everyone now counts on us to raise a baby together."
"So help me God Keaton, if you continue with this back and forth shit making me in any way regret this decision I will kick your ass over the moon."
"I will be by your side. I mean it everytime I say I love you. I really do and I am ready to do this with you."
"Don’t make me look like a fool in this, its going to be twice as hard now. The fans are going to be rough even if you tell them 2 thousand more times not to send me hate I will be attacked with it. I need you right now more than I did an hour ago."
"I’ll be here I promise. For both of you."
Wesley: His P.O.V
"I have to ask." Keaton says while putting on his shoes.
"Ask what?" I say checking myself in the mirror before leaving for the station.
"What does it feel like to know there is a baby on the way?"
"It is a little surreal to be honest. At times I wonder if it is really mine. Other times I’m excited to be adding to the Stromberg family. What does it feel like to you to become an Uncle?"
"Well with Isaac already around it feels the same. I’m happy for you though." My phone chimes from across the room, "The woman is calling for attention."
"No she has an ultrasound today and she is really nervous seeing as her friend blew up on her the other day calling her a bad mom."
"Oh fuck that has got to suck."
"She isn’t dealing with it well." I pick up my phone and read the text, *Hey just wanted to let you know we just got here, just Chasity and I. I will let you know what they tell me.*
*Great thank you. How are you doing?*
*Good, really good*
*I feel like you could be lying. That you are just saying that because we arent talking in person and could get away with an answer like that.*
*Where did you get the permission to question my answers? I’m just tired, woke up early this morning with killer morning sickness and i had a migrain last night that kept me up for most of it*
*Anything I can do?*
*No I’m good. I should be called back soon I will let you know how it goes as soon as I’m done. Have fun today*
I set my phone done not sure what to say after that. I would say have fun but part of me doesn’t want her to have fun, I wish I was there to see my baby for the first time.
A while later while sitting in the radio interview I can’t stop playing with my phone waiting for her to let me know whats going on. The radio guy brings us back after a song plays and says, “So we are going to play a game. I want you each to pull up all your text messages on your phones and I will ask say for the last text from a sibling and you read it. Can we do that?”
"Oh yeah lets just not start with that one I guiltily deleted all my messages from my sister recently. Sorry Brooke." Keaton says into the mic.
"We will start with last text from your mom."
"Have a safe flight and hurry home I am making a ton of food for you." Drew says with a smile. "She always cooks a lot for Thanksgiving. Thursday can not come soon enough."
"Ok Wesley what is yours?"
"My mom said make sure Keaton packed clean underwear even though its only an over night."
"Bull shit." Keaton yells.
"Look right here in black and white." I show him the message. "See I told you."
"Mom you have no faith in me. I’m not 6 anymore I like all clean clothes."
We all laugh it off and move to the next one. “Read the last message you got from a friend.”
"Mine is from my friend Tyler he said you sound kind of funny on the radio. Thank you Tyler."
My phone vibrates and I look down to see a text with a video attachment. Drew starts to answer but I am too involved in seeing what is going on. It starts fairly dark but then all of a sudden a smudge comes into view and then the smudge focuses and turns into an actual baby. I see it move a little and it looks like a sea monkey but there are still obvious features of a baby, my baby. “Wes earth to Wes.” Drew says shoving my shoulder.
"Oh sorry I was distracted with something."
"What are you looking at?" Keaton says leaning over then smiles, "whoa that is cool."
"Care to share with our listeners?" The radio host asks.
"The mother of my child sent me a video of her ultrasound. Can I turn on the audio for a second?"
"Sure?" He asks sounding confused.
The room goes silent as I flip it on. I press play to hear Y/N say, “I didn’t want you to miss this.” Then the baby appears on the monitor, there are a few clicks then small thuds can be heard. The doctor then speaks, “That is the baby’s heartbeat sounds strong. All looks good and healthy, due date is right on spot with growth. Congrats.”
I look up with a huge smile on my face, “Oh my God I am going to be a dad, that’s my baby. I’m going to be a dad.”
I know it’s so sad. But Drew wanted a solo career and the other two are ok with that and so I’ll stand by them all through it. I hope everyone stands by them. And who knows maybe they will find their way back together. Anything is possible at this point.
"I’m scared to go out tonight." I say to my best friend, Gabbi.
"Don’t be, just tell them you are DD for the night and if they say you can always drink one then sober up tell them no. You have the power of that word. I just need you by my side to see Jaden tonight. I can’t believe I basically threw myself at him just to have him to tell me he is into someone else. I couldn’t just not show up tonight because he is here. I just need my best friend." She says smiling over to you.
"I understand that but I’m pregnant and tired all the time. Going to a party is not my dream tonight."
"We won’t be there long I promise just long enough for Jaden to know that just because he shut me down it hasn’t affected me."
"It has affected you though."
"Ok we aren’t all lucky enough to be dating a rockstar."
"Drew. Just Drew. And we aren’t dating we are just having a baby together." I pull off the street right in front of the house thanking God I’m not going to have to walk far. We walk through the door just to be swept up in all the people. With all the cars outside you wouldn’t think there were this many people here. I lean close to Gabbi and half yell to her, "I am going to find a less crowded place, I don’t want to get bumped and anything bad happen to the baby."
"Ok I will find you when I am ready to leave."
I manourver through the bodies carefully trying to stay close to the outside. I get into the kitchen and find it leads straight to the back yard again filled with people but not as packed as the living room. I find a quiet place on the porch and start playing with my phone to kill time. A little bit later someone sits next to me, “You know the party is inside right?”
"I wasn’t up for it tonight. I got drug here because someone was way in the party mood tonight."
"Gabbi came with you?" He asks.
"Yes of course. Have you ever seen her not show up for a party that is quickly labeled ragger?"
"I just didn’t think I would see her around after what happened between us."
"Don’t flatter yourself Jaden she never lets a guy hold her down. If he isn’t interested then he isn’t. She is quick to brush it off."
"She is a cool girl and if I wasn’t into someone else then I’d be down to have a thing for her."
"Well who is the special girl you are interested in? And shouldn’t you be trying to impress her right now instead of talking to me?"
"I am trying to entertain her right now."
My eyes grow wide hearing him say it, “Jaden I am with someone.”
"I heard you and Drew are only fuck buddies."
"Doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten feelings or other things for him."
"Well are you dating him? If you are I will leave you alone."
"No but its complicated."
"What’s so complicated about it?"
"You can’t tell anyone you have to promise me Jaden."
"I’m pregnant." His face matches mine from earlier, "Please don’t say anything. He isn’t ready for the public to know and I am respecting that. So please I don’t care if you spread the rumor that I’m knocked up and don’t know who the daddy is, but please don’t tell anyone about Drew."
"I promise. I got to go." He gets up still looking stunned. I lay my head against the back of the house trying to get my head back on straight.
After what felt like a lifetime Gabbi comes outside with concern in her eyes, “I think it’s time for us to go.”
"I agree." I get up heading back into the house. The rooms get quiet as I walk through each of them. "Gabbi what happened?"
"Jaden told everyone you are pregnant, he also said it might be his."
"Of course he has to take the credit for it in someway. No one can have a life changing event happen without him being involved in some way. Lets get the hell away from here." We load back up in my car and drive back to my loft. I send Drew a quick text to let him know I am back and drop the news of the party. He sends back *Shit that fucking prick, that’s my baby he can’t have any credit in this. I will take care of it as soon as I get back from these few radio shows don’t worry.*
"Hey what are you doing this weekend?" Cami asks.
I plop back on my bed thinking of the homework I should be catching up on. “Nothing, don’t have many friends down here.”
"Well I was thinking of maybe getting our whole group together before you make your official transfer to San Diego and into school down there."
"Oh um…"I try to find some way to back out but the words don’t come as quickly as they needed to. "I will have to ask for the car but I don’t see how that would be a big deal."
"Great bring your share for alcohol and we will make it a weekend to remember. You can bring Keaton if you want."
"Ok yeah sure I will talk to him." I hang up the phone freaked out. I can’t drink but I don’t want to tell them I am pregnant and that’s why I was just going to disappear. This move was supposed to make me free. I can’t back out now Cami will know its for a reason other than what I come up with.
The weekend rolls around and my dad agrees to letting me borrow one of the cars. He has three so its not a big deal for me to use one for a few days. I drive up to Huntington hoping Keaton isn’t in town for the weekend to spend it with his mom. Cami lives around the corner from Keaton’s mom. Cami rushes outside after I honk bringing out all her gear. “I have missed you so much.” She says hugging me at a strange angle.
"I missed you too." We talk a little on our way to the beach. When we get there a fire was started and our group was already in full swing of things. Cami and I jumped right in all of us catching up. I avoid the alcohol until Cami’s boyfriend James asks, "Why isn’t Miss Y/N drinking and being merry with us tonight?"
"I’m not in a huge drinking mood. I haven’t been for a while so its ok. I will watch you all get trashed and stick with my Dr. Pepper."
"No no no you are not getting away with that. Its a party with your best friends drink up."
"No I really don’t want to James."
"What’s going on? Is this about Keaton not coming out here when he’s in town with his mom?"
"He’s in town?" I ask surprised making everyone stop and look at me. "Ok so I didn’t ask him since he and I aren’t really talking right now."
"Did you two split?" Cami asks.
"I don’t know where we are. Something happened in our relationship and it might have proved to be something bigger than our relationship could maintain."
"Is this that thing that we talked about briefly the last time we were here?"
"Yes. Well fuck it I better just tell you all. I understand if you hate me and tell me to leave, my mom did. But um…I’m pregnant."
I thought it had been quiet before but now its absolute silent. The ocean even sounds like it paused in shock. “Well shit you are going to have a pain in the ass on your hands.” James says, “if its anything like you may God have pity on your soul.” James and I have been friends since we were in diapers. Everyone reacted really positively to the news, probably from the amount of alcohol. But I needed someone to take this lightly for once, I couldn’t have handled it if even one of them freaked out. James made a toast to me and they all teased me after whenever I went to refill my drink.
"Will you come with me to tell Taylor?" I ask Chasity while we lay around my living room.
"Why are we telling Taylor? You know how she reacts to stuff like this."
"I know but I feel she needs to know. I don’t want to keep it a secret from her, we’ve been friends for way too long for it to be a secret."
"Sure of course. Call her up and see if we can all go meet for lunch."
I dial Taylor’s number shaking slightly, “Hey Taylor.” I say after she answers, “what are you doing right now?”
"Nothing, waiting on my parents to get back from the airport with my 2 aunts and their 9 children all under the age of 12."
"God damn that sounds crazy. Would you like a small escape before they show up and grab lunch with Chasity and I?"
"I would love that, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages."
"Awesome we will be there in a few minutes to pick you up." We grab Taylor and head to Chipotle just so we can be loud and not worry about everyone around us. While sitting there I get a call from Wesley, "Hey I didn’t think you would call until later." I say getting up from the table.
"I will be on a flight to Chicago later. I needed my update a little sooner today."
"Oh Chicago that sounds nice."
"It only sounds nice because you aren’t liking Arizona right now."
"That is true. Right now in this current moment of life it’s not bad. I’m at lunch with a couple friends and I’m about to tell one of them I am expecting."
"Wesley why are you so worried? She is a friend. It’s not like I am making a twitter to put it on there."
"I’m just not ready for the fans to find out and if she goes off telling people, if this goes wrong. There are just so many things I am worried about. You said to tell you what I want and I am. I won’t stop you but I just want to know that you know she won’t tell anyone."
"Wesley I promise she won’t tell anyone. You can tell your fans when you are ready."
"Don’t get mad about this please I am just being vocal. I really don’t want to tell the fans about the baby until I know for sure that it is mine. I trust you when you say it is but I have to know, it could cause damage to my career if it isn’t and just so many other things."
"I understand that and I’m not mad I get that you need to be cautious take your time. It’s not my responsibility to tell the fans those are yours."
"Ok I will talk to you later I have to leave for my flight and I have to finish packing. If you need anything let me know." He hangs up and I head back in feeling good about telling Taylor.
She smiles at me when I sit back down, “who was that?”
"No I’m serious."
"Just because you two hooked up does not mean he is talking to you now."
"He is on his way to Chicago, he was just checking in."
"Why it’s not like you are dating?"
"No we aren’t but you usually check in on the mother of your child often."
"He knocked you up when you were in town?"
"Yeah. I’m pregnant. I am sorry I took so long to tell you I just didn’t know how to tell you or how you would react."
"I can’t believe you were so dumb. You can’t be a parent. You would be a terrible parent. You go out too much and you are totally careless. No. If you are pregnant I am not sticking around to watch you wreck the poor things life."
She stands up walking quickly. I follow behind her, “You could be supportive, like friends should be. My mom and dad won’t even look at me. I have barely spoken to them since I found out. All I wanted was your support.”
"You came to the wrong person for that. But now you can realize what I mean by you will be a horrible mom. Neither set of your parents want to be around you and one set actually just gave you away because they knew you would be worthless. I guess you really proved them wrong,"
"Rot in hell and I hope you like it there. I pity your children especially if they happen upon my situation. They will have zero support. Just send them my way I will remind them that someone cares because thats all a person needs at this point is someone who cares."
Oh of course :) I will post 2 one saturday and one sunday that way I’m kind of caught back up. I’ve almost gone one done but I will wait until tomorrow just to have a day to let it sit and then reread it and make sure I haven’t made too many horrible mistakes haha.
Kalum will be at his dad’s this weekend and I have it off from work…do you all know what that means?! Request catch up!!! Hooray!!!
I promise I haven’t forgotten you my Emblems. I’ve been super wiped after work lately and the stress from work has made me really tired. I’m hoping things will get easier but we will see. I promise to try harder to get stories posted I really will. I don’t have writers block I just have exhaustion. I’ll work on it though guys I promise. I love you all!
I wake up in the morning to the sweet smell of breakfast in the kitchen. I slip into some jeans and a t-shirt so I can leave right after. I head downstairs quietly trying to sneak in on my mom. Instead I hear her in there talking to someone, “yeah she kept it a secret because she didn’t want Wes to think she was trying to get him back. I understand that. But at the same time I wish she would’ve told me, I missed out on so much.”
"Think about everything Wes missed out on. I mean those are his babies and he doesn’t even know they exist." Brooke says. I should’ve known she would be here now that we are home for a bit.
"Would you have told Isaac’s dad if he had cheated on you?"
"No my pride would have been in the way. I wouldn’t have wanted him to think I needed him to raise him."
"That’s exactly what she thought, then fear grew into it because she waited so long, she didnt want him to yell at her or be mad at her. I don’t blame her from certain perspectives but Wes deserved to know. Keaton knew for months and then was there when they were born on complete fluke."
"Let me see the pictures of them again." Brooke says.
There is some silence and I hold my breath just to make sure I don’t get caught. “This is Willow but she calls her Low, she has the prettiest eyes. She looks a lot like you as a baby. Sweet, soft, strawberry blonde hair. She does have a lot of similarities to Nicole though. She has Wes’s eyes though, there is no avoiding that.”
"She is so precious. What about my nephew?"
"This is Weston and she calls him Wes. He has his mom’s eyes and doesn’t like to be snuggled close unless he’s tired. But face structure he is like a spitting image of his dad, there is no denying that relation."
"They are so cute. Do you think she would let me stop by and see them? I won’t say anything to Wes that is all on her. I just want to see them and check on her. I can’t believe Wes cheated on her, that just doesn’t sound like him."
"People make mistakes." My mom says as I hear scrapes against the bottom of a pan.
"Which mistake is harder to forgive cheating or lying?" I ask stepping into the room. The spatula hits the floor after my mom jumps. "You knew and didn’t tell me and worse than that you took her side for lying to me."
"Wesley I was going to tell you tonight if she hadn’t told you by then. This is something she needs to tell you but you didn’t make that easy on her."
"Mom those babies are mine and I’ve missed I don’t know how much of their life."
"Two months. They share a birthday with Drew."
"Almost three months. Nice mom nice. I am done with the bullshit, I will be back later I have to go talk to someone."
"Wesley stay here and let me talk to you, let me tell you everything." My mom says coming out from behind the counter.
"No why should I, you were keeping secrets too."
"I found out last night." She shouts making me realize I was shouting first. "Come talk to me." She says gently placing her hand on my arm.
"No." I say pulling it away from her.
"Wesley come here for just a second, after that you can leave. Just one second." Brooke says from the counter. I roll my eyes stepping towards her. She places my mom’s phone in my hand forcing me to looking down at it. On the screen staring back at me are two babies laying next to each other. I half fall into the stool next to Brooke flipping through all of them. I come across one of Nicole holding I think Weston since there isn’t much hair. She is smiling and touching noses with him. The next is her laying on the floor next to Willow and she is holding Nicole’s finger.
"People make mistakes but I am pretty sure you go over there completely wound up and pissed she won’t let you in the house and she will push you farther away. There are right ways to go about this and anger is not the way. She wants you involved she just didn’t want to take anything away from you."
"Christmas is in 6 days, do you think she will tell me by then?" I ask not taking my eyes away from the screen.
"Yes and if not you can just show up calm and let her know you know. She won’t keep you away if you know. But don’t push your way in now she is terrified being here thinking you will hate her for this secret. She told me last night she still loves you."
"I still love her, I just need to show her that I do before she tells me." An idea pops into my head, "I know its my first night home in a long time but I am going to have to miss breakfast. I need to go talk to her and take her somewhere special."
"I understand be home for family dinner or I will beat you." I run out the door and get to my car driving straight to Nicole’s. I run up knocking on the door tapping excitedly.
"Wesley I thought we said the plan was for Tuesday."
"Plans change, especially when you overhear conversations in the kitchen about a certain set of twins. She doesn’t need to know I know, please don’t say anything to her about me knowing. I am going to show her that I still love her before she tells me. But you owe me some back up since you didn’t exactly share or push her to share that information."
"Fine, what do you want?" Tristan asks showing the defeat.
"Go get her."
I hear the knock and shut the bedroom door so no one can hear the babies. Tristan goes to answer it since my dad had chemo today and is laying down. A few minutes later she comes into my room, “So Wesley is at the door and won’t leave until you come down to talk to him. I made him stay on the porch but there is no guarantee he will stay there if you keep him waiting.”
"What the hell? Son of a bitch. Did he say what he wanted to talk to me about?"
"No but I think you should just talk to him and get some of the shit of your chest even if you wait on telling him about them for a little bit." She says nodding towards the twins on my bed.
"Do you mind watching them? I won’t be gone long."
"You know not to let anyone around them unless you know they know. So Keaton, Liz and Laraine."
"I know, now go before he shows up in here and everything is blown."
I walk out and quickly go to the front door. He stands up from where he was sitting. I shut the door behind me, “what can I do for you today?”
"Come talk to me, please."
"I don’t want to, I really don’t."
"It will be worth it, I hope. I just think if we talk privately and get all our anger off our chests we can go back to friends. More may happen from their or not but just to have you not mad at me anymore is all I want."
"Fine but I can’t be out long, I need to be here to help with my dad." He smiles and walks towards his car. I climb in the passenger side and refuse to look at him. He doesn’t try to talk in the car which I appreciate, car situations make me nervous. My body gets tense as I realize where he is taking me. We stop at the park and I want to refuse to get out. He climbs out and waits on the sidewalk for me. I reluctantly get out going to his side just wanting to get this over with. "I’m not really up for playing in the snow."
"I was going to just say we can talk at the table and I’ll clear any snow off."
"Sounds good." We walk over with more awkward silence. The table is basically clear when we get to it. I sit on the edge letting my legs dangle over the side.
"How is your dad doing?" He asks stomping a circle into the snow.
"He was really sick today. I guess chemo does that to him. I told him I would go to his appointment with him but he said he didn’t want me to see it."
"I am really tired of people saying they are sorry."
"What do you want me to say? I will say whatever."
"I hate you and I want you to go back to your house."
"I hate you and I want you to go back to my place." He says cracking a smile.
"That could’ve been worse." I say with a small smile.
"Nicole I never not once stopped thinking about you and wished I could change the past and take it all back."
"You can’t take it back though Wes. You did a terrible thing and broke my heart. I tried to warn you before it happened. It wasn’t supposed to be published, I just turned it in as an assignment. But the raw emotion was something Jennifer liked and she put it in before I could tell her no. It wasn’t meant for the world to read." I look down at the snow knowing I can’t look in his eyes.
"I should have let you explain but I was being selfish and I used it as a way of justification for what I did. I know you are tired of hearing this but I am sorry. I am so sorry with every ounce of my heart. I would take it back if I could."
"But you can’t."
"No but I can try to make it better. I still love you Nicole." I look up to say something and find him standing right in front of me with no space between us. He slides his hand up to the side of my face touching me in ways that I have missed so much. His lips lightly caress mine making my heart leap in my chest. He doesn’t leave them there long before pulling away. "Sorry I just needed it, I have missed them.
"I told you I’m sick of sorry. And you shouldn’t be sorry for something that you wanted to do."
"Always have to turn everything so philosophical."
I roll my eyes, “not always just when the words feel right.”
"See what am I telling you." He says laughing at me. "I’ve really missed you. I hope you can start to forgive me."
"You are forgiven. You know I can’t stay mad at you." He pulls me close to his chest hugging me tight.
"Can we go grab a bite to eat and catch up a little? Like maybe Liz’s cafe."
"I can’t be out long."
"Your dad will be fine for a little while longer. Come on just a sandwich. I know you’ve missed them." He says nudging my arm.
"Fine but it has to be quick."
"Deal." I hop off the table starting to trek back through the snow.
"Oh Nicole." Wesley says behind me.
"What?" I say just as a snow ball pelts me in the arm. I let out a scream or surprise just as he laughs. I kneel down grabbing some snow and throwing it back. A full blown snowball fight breaks out between us right then. After a few minutes he tackles me into the snow causing my jacket and jeans to soak in the snow. "Holy shit its cold." I say as my body goes rigid.
"I’ll warm you up." He puts his lips against mine again, this time a little more passionately. I don’t fight it, I kiss him back with just as much need. He breaks away after a few minutes completely breathless, "I stepped boundaries with that one."
"No you’re fine, the line wasn’t drawn and I needed that warmth. But I am cold again and need up." He helps me to my feet and brushes off the snow respecting my personal spaces. "You can’t just keep kissing me, we have a lot of work before we will be anywhere near where we were before."
"I don’t want to be where we were before, I want us to start new and go somewhere else. This is our chance to get it right."
"Its like you stole those words from something I wrote."
"It was, it was something similar to what you wrote in a note that I was never supposed to get back in high school."
"I’m going to get dizzy if I keep rolling my eyes at you today."
"I’ll catch you when you fall." He says walking towards his car with his hands in his pockets. He knew what he wanted but he wasnt about to put it all out there. Smart man, he knows my game way too well. It felt normal though with him and I wasnt sure how that made me feel. I loved him but I couldn’t tell him that without revealing too much. I needed him to see that I need him to fight, I need to see that he is really willing to try before i let him close. He has to find out soon though, can’t keep it from him forever not with these feelings coming back for both of us.
I don’t find myself sucked into a nightmare of bright lights or blood. I find myself sucked into a scene of a sunrise, just as the stars are fading but bright enough I’m not in darkness. Jake is there, alive, smiling. “Jake what are you doing here? You’re dead.”
"I’m only dead in reality. I still live young and well in your heart. Thank you for remembering me." He says turning to look at me across this small green meadow.
"I can’t exactly forget you. I’m the reason you aren’t here like you should be."
"I don’t blame you, not at all. It’s peaceful here."
"What’s it like?" I ask going towards him.
"I can’t tell you, you will find out when it’s your time. But it isn’t your time yet, not for a while."
"If this town has it their way I will be dead and by your side within days."
"Show them who you can really be Sam." My entire body warms hearing him say that."
"I miss you. I’m sorry I was so careless. I just wish you were here with me to help me through this."
"If I was there you wouldn’t be going through this. You need to and I’m meant to be here. It wasn’t your fault." He says sitting down laying back supporting himself on his hands.
"Yes it was."
"No Sam it wasn’t. But you will have to learn that for yourself."
"I don’t want to." I say sitting next to him not taking my eyes off him. I’m scared if I do he will disappear before I have a real chance to talk to him.
"You have no choice."
"Since I feel like I am getting no where with you on my real problem can we talk about something else. I don’t want to miss a chance to talk to my brother."
"I can’t hang around forever Sam. So I will just give you some brotherly advice. Follow your heart, it’s headed in the right way."
"Which way is that?"
"Sam you never did do it like everyone else. So more like diagonal straight with a few squiggles."
"Thanks for really building me up."
"That’s what brothers are for. I know you are going great places Sam, you will be ok." He says standing back up stretching.
"Most days don’t feel like I will be, but if you say I will then I figure you are right."
"Take care of your heart Sam and it won’t lead you astray. Just clear out the junk and you will be ok."
"You are talking like you about to leave. I still have so much I want to know." I say walking up in front of him trying to stop him.
"I do have to go, I can’t stay forever. Someone will give you the answers you need and if you never get them then you already knew the answer all along. I love you Sam." He says giving me a hug. I can feel the warmth of his embrace wrapped tightly around me.
"I love you too Jake." I say with my face pressed against his chest. I close my eyes soaking in every possible second. When they flutter open I am laying on the bed, alone. I can still feel Jake’s hug and the sound of his heart thumping softly under my ear. It’s strange to think he was so alive and so close to me, yet he isn’t any of those things. A small tap on the door snaps my head back to reality. "Come in I say softly."
I see someone peak in quietly, “your dad let me in before he left for work. He said you were probably still asleep that he hoped your trip wore you our enough to make you sleep.”
"Yes and no."
"Did you have a nightmare?" He asks closing the door behind him then leans up against the wall.
"No, I had a dream about my brother." I say patting the bed next to me. "You can come sit or lay or whatever, you don’t have to stand there. I literally just woke up and I’m not exactly ready to get out of bed." He sits down next to me keeping distance between us. "After sleeping on a couch for three nights this bed is perfect."
"We can’t wait around too long, Cheri will wake up and we won’t be able to go do what I have planned."
"If she is gone when we get back will you stay and hang out? I don’t want to be alone today." I say looking away from his eyes.
"I can try. Get dressed." He says getting off the bed and walking out of the room. I throw on something comfortable and head downstairs and find him in the living room looking at something on the wall. "When did this get hung? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before."
I look over seeing the last family picture we took together. It was the day of Jake’s graduation, the happiness radiating from all of us is so obvious. “I don’t know. Probably after I left as a way of saying we are moving on. I didn’t even notice it last night.”
"You look happy. I think I’ve only seen you that way once and that was before hell opened its doors to you again."
"Shit happens and takes us back to medium, can’t always be happy. Ready to go?"
"Yeah lets take your car, do you mind if I drive?"
"No that’s fine." I hand him the keys as we head out and start on the road away from the house. The conversation is light on the way but it feels nice.
"So don’t freak out when you see where we are going." Drew says looking over at me for a second.
"Am I going to die?"
"No." He says with a chuckle.
"Then I promise not to freak out." He turns a corner and a cemetery comes into view. It all starts clicking in my head as my pulse starts to quicken. I take deep breaths trying not to let the anxiety creeping its way into my veins affect me. He pulls up to the side and I look out just to see headstones stretching far and wide, "this is a huge cemetery. The one Jake is buried in is like a quarter of this size."
"Death happens here too much I guess. Come on you need to see this." I carefully open the door and step behind all of Drew’s step. We stop by a grave surrounded by flowers. "This grave is never empty, it always has flowers. I usually take some of them and put them on Dally’s grave as a dark gift from Eric. No one ever visits her, they hate what she did. No one even made a big deal about her death as they did Eric’s. But I thought you needed to see this and know where it is so you can come out here if you need. I don’t come out here often, at least not as much as I used to, but when I did it helped."
"His headstone is gorgeous." I say squatting down to get get a better look at the front. "Wait this says his death date is two days after the wreck. Jake’s says it was the day of the wreck, but that is because he was DOS."
"Eric held on for two days before his injuries took him. I thought you knew that."
"No I never really asked and no one really shared that information with me. I just assumed he was DOS like Jake."
"No he held on long enough for his family to get up there to him and then slipped away a few hours after that."
"Were you there?"
"No, Cheri and my dad wouldn’t let me go. But Ryan and Dallys were both there and that’s honestly all that needed to be there."
"Where is Dallys buried?"
"I’ll show you on another day. Today let it just be about Eric." We stand there together quietly. He gently pulls me to his side with his arm draped over my shoulders. I lay my head against him just letting the peace fill me.
But all good things can’t last, I hear a door slam shut just to hear yelling followed. “What the hell is she doing here? This is my brother’s grave, it is not meant to be tainted by his murderer.”
"So great to see you against Melody. This is public property and she is free to go where she wants." Drew says defending me.
"My mom filed a restraining order, she can’t be within 100 yards of my family, which includes Eric."
"Drew lets just go, its not worth it."
"Yes it is. You deserve to have your peace."
"No she doesn’t, not here at least. This is my peaceful place and I’m not letting her ruin it."
"Melody you haven’t been here since he was put here. So don’t start thinking you are actually pitied right now."
"Wait until your mom finds out you were with this girl, she will make it so you will barely be allowed around Ryan."
"Melody please we will leave. Just don’t tell Cheri, he doesn’t deserve that."
"My brother didn’t deserve what you did to him but you still did it."
"This has nothing to do with Drew. I will leave and not come back if that is what you want. But I’m not leaving this town and you will just have to deal with it. There is no way you can make me leave. I won’t let you and your family push me around no matter how many pieces of paper you throw in my face."